One Life (Phan)

6 (Phil)

I love it and I feel the fire explode in my

(you loved me enough and I will)

stomach and I love him and I will

(love you)

love him

ALWAYS.

---

Sorrow grips at my throat and my hands start to shake. I had sweat through clothes and through my sheets, but I'm too wound up to

(Dearest Phil)

try and go to the washroom and get the job done.

I move to the kitchen, but as I start to shovel cereal into my mouth, I throw it back up again. My throat burns with the acid bale. I wipe my mouth and head to the lounge. I lay on the sofa, staring at the ceiling for hours upon hours, before I shut my eyes and nightmare-plagued sleep pours over me.

---

"Hey! Phil!"

I feel my hands start to shake. "Hi, Tyler."

Pause. "Are you okay?"

I take in a deep breath. "Yeah, just shaky. Dan left to go visit a friend up north and I'm all alone for two more weeks," I say into the phone, the lies pouring out of my mouth like honey; smooth and consistent.

"Aw," I hear him chortle. "You poor thing. Well, Louise and I were planning a party... PJ is going to be there. Troye is visiting with me so he's going to be there too."

I cough. Get out of the house, Phil. You have to keep your cool and forget about--

"Phil? It'll be tomorrow at around 6:00," He pauses. "At my hotel room. Are you... you sure you're okay?" His giggly tone is replaced by one of concern.

"Yeah," I say quickly, nearly cutting him off. Before I hear him take another breath, I add: "I'll be there at six."

There is no noise on the other end for a while. I wince as he speaks again.

"Phil, what's going on?" I hear him shift on the other end, probably moving outside or to a more private place.

"N-nothing," my voice betrays me.

Just tell him, a voice in the back of my head whispers.

No, Dan told me not to tell--

Dan's gone.

Those two words hits me in the chest hard.

Dan's gone.

"Phil. Tell me. What the heck is happening? Did you hurt yourself? Where's Dan? Do you nee--"

"Dan's gone," I mutter into the phone.

Tyler stops mid-sentence. "What?"

I regret the words immediately. "Nothing, Tyler. I just woke up from a nightmare, and with Dan away the house seems empty. I'm just a little shaken up."

Tyler pauses again. I could tell he was thinking it over. "You know, you don't have to come if you don't want to."

I stare at our hallway wall. The phone seems filthy now, hot with germs. I want it off my face, away from my ear.

"N-no it's fine," I say quickly. "Hold on a second, I h-have to hang up. I left the burn-ner on." Lame excuse.

"Yeah, yeah, okay," Tyler sighs. "We won't expect you there, so don't come if you're not up to it."