Jealousy

Chapter 1

"Harley," came a whisper from the cell door. Harley Quinn sat up to see Dr. Johnny Bryan, her psychiatrist, friend, and former colleague standing by the door. He beckoned her over, holding a finger to his lips.

"I didn't want to wake Miss Ivy," he whispered, nodding to the cell next door. "I was wondering if I could ask your opinion on a psychiatric issue I've been having with a patient. You know I've always thought you were the best psychiatrist I've ever worked with."

"Aw, gee, Johnny, that's real flattering," murmured Harley, smiling. "But I think I'm gonna get a sore throat if we have to whisper about it."

He smiled and pulled out a ring of keys. "Don't tell anyone," he murmured. "It'll just be for five minutes. If anyone asks, we're in session."

Harley nodded as he unlocked the door, and she followed him back to his office. He was a nice guy, Johnny, a genuinely nice guy, who genuinely respected her intellect, which was rare. Most people thought she was crazy and stupid. But she wasn't stupid. Just crazy.

They entered his office and shut the door. "Now I know your specialty is these supercriminals, and if I thought I could cure the Joker, I'd ask you for advice on how to help him," said Dr. Bryan, smiling. "But I've come to conclusion that I can't, and you probably wouldn't want that anyway."

"Nah uh," agreed Harley, beaming. "I love my puddin' just the way he is."

"Well, fortunately I've been assigned some normal cases as well," replied Dr. Bryan, going over to his desk. "At least, normal by comparison. This one here, Hyde, have a look over the case file and tell me what you think."

Harley took the file from him. "I don't think I need to remind you this is all strictly confidential..."

"Johnny, if I didn't squeal on you letting me outta my cell, I'm hardly gonna start blabbing about the other inmates," retorted Harley.

"Point taken," he said, smiling.

"What's the issue?" she asked, looking up after she had finished reading. "Seems to me a fairly regular case of childhood abandonment leading to lack of trust. Pretty textbook standard."

"Yeah, but look here," said Dr. Bryan, pointing. "He has got trust issues, but at the same time massive dependency ones. He doesn't want to trust people, yet he depends on others for literally everything. So he wants people, yet refuses to want people. I can't figure it out."

Harley thought. "Could be some kinda split personality?" she suggested. "Half of him wants love and affection, and the other half hates it because it's suspicious of it? Maybe start treating him for some kinda schizophrenia so he can reconcile the two halves of his mind?"

"Split personality," murmured Dr. Bryan. "Why didn't I see it before?" He sighed in relief. "Thank you, Harley, you've saved my sanity! I was about to go crazy – I knew there was something obvious I was just missing!"

"Guess it took a crazy person to see it," replied Harley, grinning.

Dr. Bryan laughed. "In the spirit of not telling people things, how about a drink as a reward?" he asked, reaching into his desk drawer and pulling out a bottle of whiskey. "Obviously this kinda stuff shouldn't be allowed in a hospital for the mentally ill..."

"But then what's the point of life if you're not gonna have a little fun once a while?" finished Harley, grinning.

He poured her a glass and raised his. "To you, Dr. Quinzel," he said, smiling. "The best psychiatrist I've ever worked with."

"You're a sweet guy, Johnny," she murmured.

They drank. "It's a real shame, you know," said Dr. Bryan. "You being locked up in here. You have such a talent for psychiatry, Harley – you could do a lotta people a lotta good if you ever rehabilitated yourself."