"I'm sorry Little Man. I'm just glad you're okay. He didn't hurt you in any way?" I asked as I opened the car door and set him in the back seat.

"No. He just held on to my shoulder really hard, but that's it."

"Well I, glad you're alright. I love you Kiddo." I said looking back at him from the front seat.

"I love you too Daddy. Am I allowed to go back to sleep?"

"Yes. Go back to sleep." As soon as I started that sentence, he rolled himself in the blankets and went to sleep.

"Sorry for all of that." Patrick said once we were on the road again.

"For that kid with the stupid hair cut? That's not your fault."

"It wouldn't have happened if I didn't want to stop."

"I don't blame you. I'm just glad you didn't run off and leave us this time because I would have been shot if you showed up a second later."

"Well that's what I do. I save and change lives." Patrick said with a smile.

"I've never wanted to punch anyone more in my life right now."

"Punch, or kiss?"

"A little bit of both." I said laughing.

"Well I'm waiting on you."

I dropped the good mood by going silent. All I could think about was Ashley and if she would be okay with this.

"Are you okay?" Patrick asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine..." I lied.

"What is it?"

"Nothing. Don't worry about it. We can talk about it later. When we stop for the night. Okay? I just need a minute to think."

"Okay. I can wait." He said as he put his hand on my knee.

For probably the next few hours I thought about the internal conflict within me. I think Ashley would want me to move on, even if it was to a guy, and the only person's approval I need is Bronx's, and he gave me that long ago. And... I love Patrick don't I? Well, I don't know about love, but there is definitely something there.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyyyy" I heard from under the bundle of blankets of the back seat.

"Yeah Bronx?"

"I'm hungry."

"Alright. Just a second." I reached into the backpack at the floor of the car in between my feet and pulled out a can of strawberries. "How do strawberries sound?" I asked.

"Hmmm. Okay. Good enough for me."

"Alright." I opened the can and drank some of the syrup from the can so he wouldn't spill it. "You know you'll have to emerge from hiding right?" I asked as I poked him through the blankets.

"I will never come out. I am The Hermit of the Hills. The Hidden One. The One Who Can't Be Seen." He said in a sneaky voice.

"Okay. If you say so. I'll just eat these on my own." I grabbed a spoon from the pouch of my backpack.

"No!" He yelled as he exploded out of the blankets. "Gimme!"

"What's the magic word?"

"Pleeeeaaaasssseee." He begged.

"Okay. Okay. Here you go." I handed him the can.

"Thanks!" He said grabbing the can.

"You're welcome, Little Man."

"I wish my dad was more like you." Patrick said from nowhere.

"That's kinda weird Patrick." I said.

"Not like that." He laughed.

"Just call me daddy." I winked at him.

"No. Please. You're going to make me lose my lunch. If I had lunch."

"I'm just kidding. What do you mean though?"

"My dad was... He was a good dad. He just wasn't as... Laid back, or as chill as you. He didn't have that good parenting in the fun way. He had that good parenting in the strict way." Patrick explained to me.

"Oh. I kinda get it."

"Like when I came out as gay, it took him a whole week to accept it and be okay with it. And I was only allowed to do things on the weekends, and I never got anything unless I said please and thank you. It wasn't a horrible child hood. It was just kind of boring."

"Well I try to be the best interactive dad I can be." I said.

"Well it works."

"Thanks, Patrick."

"You're welcome, Pete."

"Patrick, do you like Ninja Turtles?" Bronx asked out of the blue.

"Not really. No." Patrick answered.

"What about Star Wars?"

"I love Star Wars!!" Patrick's face lit up at the mention of Star Wars. It was cute.

"Which one is your favorite?" Bronx asked.

The next two hours was literally them geeking out about Star Wars.

As night fell, we were in the middle of nowhere so we agreed that sleeping in the car would be of everyone's best interest. It may get cold, but at least we won't be buried in ash or snow. Patrick and I leaned our seats back as far as we could and hoped for the best.

"Hey, Patrick.." I said rolling over in my seat towards him.

"Yeah? What's up?"

"I think I'm ready to talk now." I said nervously.

"Okay. Go for it."

"So, I was thinking about Ashley earlier. And that's why I got all quiet and stuff."

"Who's Ashley?" Patrick asked.

"My dead wife."

"Oh! I'm sorry." He apologized. I could hear the guilt in his voice.

"No. It's okay. I was just conflicted to whether it not she would be okay with me... Moving on."

"And you've decided...."

"I've decided that she would be. And the only person's opinion that matters is Bronx, but he shipped us from day one."

"He did?" He asked sounding surprised.

"Yeah. We had a whole talk about it." I laughed, causing him to laugh.

"Are you still waiting on me?" I asked, referring to the kiss joke made earlier today.

"You know it." Patrick said with a smile.

Well... Here goes nothing.

------------------------------
Kill me.
-Matthew

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