Hiding My Heart

Chapter 39

He didn't want another child because he knew that it would be half werewolf, and his family comes from a strong line of pure breeds. They look down on half breeds. But his family was disowned a long time ago, forced to travel as rogues for centuries. As much as he loved me I was only human, and he was supposed to be alpha. He didn't want to risk having a half breed child that would only bring trouble to him and our family if other rogues or pure breeds found out. But I longed for another child; two wasn't good enough for me. I always wanted a large family, so I tricked him. 

And in the end you had arrived into the world. Then things changed, he wasn't the man I thought he was. He grew angry and started hating Natalie and Brayden. I can still see the first time he laid a hand on Brayden. The shock at seeing my little boy, barely three years old, being thrown to the ground by a slap to the face. All Brayden wanted to do was go play catch with Joey like they always did. But Joey didn't want to, he had been drinking for the past two days and it was finally starting to affect him. The next thing I know I see Brayden on the floor crying. After that everything changed and he became the monster we both know. 

I have no one but me to blame for that. I had tricked him, I had insisted on keeping you even after he threatened to kill you himself. I felt the bond with you just like I did with my other children. I loved you before you even came into this world and I wasn't going to give you up. I was going to fight for you and your siblings. Even if it meant losing the love of my life. 

You are a werewolf Dee and for the first time it scared me knowing this. Even when I was pregnant with you and saw how violent Joey was becoming. He was letting his wolf take over and I was afraid that you would turn out to be just like him. So I went to a doctor. I had looked up packs, searched everywhere I could until I finally came across one. It wasn't simple but I found them and went to them for help.  

They didn't know how to help me at first, saying there was nothing they could do to help you, for you were born to be a werewolf. But I couldn't let that happen and the doctor of the pack I think he took pity on me and told me he would find something to help you. So you can be human and not worry about the wolf taking over. I told him everything about Joey and how I didn't want you to become that. Months went by and I still haven't heard from him it wasn't until I was due that we finally met up again. He handed me a small drink of clear liquid. He called it wolfs bane, it's supposed to be deadly for werewolves but considering that you were half human he gambled that the werewolf in you would die out, leaving the human side to take over. It was a gamble I was willingly taking. 

So I took the drink and I felt no pain, he checked on you and told me you will be fine, the drink had worked. The next day you were born and you were healthy and human. I would always go back and do that over again Dee, I wouldn't change it for a second. It may sound selfish to you but I had to do it to protect you. I thought that if Joey saw that you weren't werewolf at all that he would go back to being that loveable guy. But he was too angry and too drunk to properly tell, he said that he would make sure on your fourteenth birthday you would change and then he would kill you. 

I went back to the doctor when you were three, made him make me more of the drink, but instead he made me earrings of the same stuff, just in case the drink had stopped working as time went on. I watched you grow, I watched for any signs that your wolf was awakening. But I found nothing and I was relieved.  

I just hope and pray that as you continue to grow that nothing will happen, that Joey will leave. It pains me to say it but I can't live like this anymore. I want to take you and your siblings as far away from him as I can. But I can't, he's my mate and every time he's gone I miss him. I fear that if that day does come when Joey leaves I won't be strong enough for you and your siblings.