Frozen Past (A Naruto FanFic/Gaara Love Story)

Another Sannin Who Might Be Worse Than The Pervert

"My brother," I whisper, staring at my fisted hands resting in my lap. Tsunade sighs. "Me too," she says, startling me. "Nawaki," she continues. "That was his name. He was about your age when he died. I was a lot like you after that. Depressed, lost, all that stuff nobody likes to feel."

"How do you know that's how I am?" I ask, slighlty bitter to be dissected like some stupid experiment, my insides revealed to anyone who cares to look. "Because you're not normal if you act any differently," she says, surprisingly me once again. "I didn't want to go on, without my little brother. At the time, he meant everything to me. And losing him... well let's just say it sent me off the deep end for a while. But you want to know how I got past it?"

I look up into her now soft eyes. "How?" I ask softly. She smiles, placing a warm hand on my head. "I fell in love."

There's something in her voice that tells me this isn't the whole story, but I don't pursue it. Instead, I ask, "You fell in love?" She nods. "With a man named Dan," she says. "He allowed me to feel complete again, after losing Nawaki."

"Not to be rude," I say. "But why exaclty are you telling me this?"

Tsunade shrugs, starting to turn around. "You seem in need of some help," she says. "I thought this might be of use to you. Maybe I was wrong. But it's none of my concern really, so do what you want with my advice." She stalks out of the room, slamming the door closed behind her.

"What advice?" I ask helplessly, as Kakashi chuckles again. "You'll understand eventually, Akari," he says, while I shake my head in denial. "I hate that answer," I say with an honest pout. He laughs.

I slowly slide off Kakashi's bed and land on the floor. "I'm so relieved that you're ok," I say to Kakashi Sensei. "But do you mind if I go check on Lee?" He nods and lays back down on his bed. He waves his hand at the door, drawing the covers up over himself. "I'm sure he'll be glad to see you," he says. "Go."

I say a quick goodbye and leave to go to Lee's room. He isn't there, and it doesn't bother me. He hates being in the hospital as much as Kakashi Sensei, and tries to get out as much as possible. So I check just outside, and find him wandering the garden belonging to the hospital. I think Ino's family helps keep it stocked.

Lee tells me that Tsunade thinks there might be a way to help him. But that the surgery involved has only a fifty percent success rate. It's so complicated, it hasn't even been tried before, and she isn't wholly positive she can even perform it. But despite this, Lee wants to have the surgery, more than anything. And he says Guy Sensei is behind him all the way.

"I'm happy for you Lee," I say as we take a seat on a low wall that goes around the garden. He tilts his head, regarding me quietly. "You are not happy, Miss Akari," he says, and I flinch at his words. "W-What do you mean, Lee?" I ask unsuccessfully. "Of course I'm happy! This is great news!"

"No," he says, shaking his head. "This is not happiness. It is a show for my benefit. You have not been happy for a long time." He places his good hand over mine; it's warm despite the bandages he always wraps it in. "You do not even show your smile any longer."

"I don't want to be like this," I say, and he nods in understanding. "It will pass," he promises, giving me his signature smile, along with a thumbs up.

Lee and I talk for a while, about things other than my unhappiness and his surgery. One thing we can easily agree on is our fear of Lady Tsunade. Lee says he respects her greatly, but can't look her in the eye. I say she reminds me of a witch, then glance around quickly to make sure she's not in earshot.

She isn't, thank God.

We also just talk about the goings on the Village, and another topic that comes up is the failed Chunin Exams. They were never finished, and we both wonder what they plan on doing about it. It seems late to hold another one, when the second Exam of the year is already scheduled. But it also seems wrong to deny everyone their chance of becoming a Chunin. Lee mentions that if the surgery goes well, he hopes to take part in the next Exam. I say I might hold off on it, becuase I... well, because I just don't think I can handle it.

***

I leave Lee when the sun starts to set, heading back to Kakashi's place. It's dark by the time I get there, unlocking the door and closing it behind me. And I'm greeted by a familiar drawl.

"What's up, Akari?"

"Hello, Shikamaru," I say, as friendly as I can been in recent times. He smiles at me, leaning back against the cupboard. "Notice anything different about me?" he ask. I scan his appearance, my eyes widening when I notice the green flak jacket. "What the hell?" I mutter, and he smirks. "Lady Tsunade appointed me as a Chunin this morning," he says, then sighs. "It's gonna be such a drag, being the leader of a squad. I wanted to decline, but my dad convinced me otherwise."

"That's awesome," I say, without much enthusiasm. He rolls his eyes. "No smile even for your best friend's promotion?" He sighs. "Pretty low, Akari. Pretty low."

"I didn't even smile when I saw Kakashi's face," I mumble, and he gapes at me. "You what?" he asks, losing his cool demeanor and openly showing his shock.

"That was supposed to be a secret, Akari."

Kakashi appears in the doorway connecting this room to the hallway. He still hasn't put his jacket, or his headband back on, and he looks even more casual than usual because of it. "Sorry, Kakashi Sensei," I say and he sighs. "You know, I'm not your Sensei," he says. "You don't need to call me that."

I shrug. "Force of habit, I guess."

"Anyway," I say after a short, uncomfortable silence. "I'm a little surprised they let you out of the hosptial... Kakashi." He grins beneath his mask, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, they say I have to rest up here for a few days though, just to make sure I'm alright," he says, and I nod. "At least they trust you not to hurt yourself," I say, and the two of them stare at me.

"Was that... a joke?" Kakashi asks, leaning towards me.

"A lame one," Shikamaru says, grinning. "But yeah, I think it was a joke."

I roll my eyes at the two of them, before walking past Kakashi towards my room. "Nice to see you, Shikamaru," I say pointedly over my shoulder, and I hear him laugh. "You can't deny it was a joke, Akari!" he calls after me. "It means you might come back!"