Bad for You

VIII

"Take your time, it's alright..."

Kicking a pebble off of the sidewalk, I exhaled loudly and glanced around as people passed by me every second, knocking into me occasionally. I was leant against a signpost waiting for Noah. My palms were sweaty and I tried to stop my mind from racing. It had been two years since I'd been in Portland and  my nerves were all over the place – it just kinda brought back bad memories.

Justin had left at the same time as I, he told me he'd probably get back to the room we were staying in before me so I shouldn't wait around, although we were gonna be in the same area all day.

"Parker!"

Turning around quickly, my eyes met with Noah's for the first time in two very long years and I wanted to cry, I really really wanted to cry.

Running up to me and wrapping his arms around me tightly, I done the same and we both broke down into tears, it was only natural.

Sniffling, I pulled him tighter than humanly possible, resting my head on his chest. I forgot what it was like to hug him, and this only reminded me of how secure I felt – I didn't want to let go. I'd missed this.

"I've missed you so much." He whispered.

"I've missed you, too."

Noah hadn't changed one bit. He still had his dark hair which he never done properly, simply just running his hand through it and saying "done". The way he dressed remained, skinny jeans and a baggy top – it was as if I never left.

*

"So mom and dad are looking forward to seeing you." He said casually as we walked around the mall, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"You never said anything about me seeing mom and dad. You know I can't do that."

He sighed, running his hand up and down the back of his neck awkwardly, as if he knew this would happen. (Of course he knew this would happen!) Was he feeling okay? Did he actually think this would settle well with me?

"Park, you're gonna have to someday, after all, they are your parents. They've changed and I know they regret what happened, I promise everything will be alright."

If there was anywhere I didn't want to go, it was there. Even just the thought of the house put a massive weight on my shoulders and a dent in my mood.

"I left for a reason, I don't wanna see them."

"Please, for me..." He begged.

I hated this, I hated disappointing Noah. My problem was that I wanted to please everyone, and never myself – I never done anything because I wanted to, it was always for someone else. I glanced up at him to see him pulling a pouty face.

"Okay, fine... But as soon as I feel slightly uncomfortable, I'm out. I mean it."

*

My heartbeat had skyrocketed as we walked together up to the front door of my old house. Nothing had changed, the flower arrangements were the same, the little bench with a fishing gnome still sat perched on the edge of the doorstep. A part of me felt at ease, after all, this is where I grew up, but at the same time, I felt anger.

The door opened and a breath caught in my throat.

"Parker, you're here."