Funky Stories

Little Wikem

Little Wikim had a hat. He put grass in it, placing it in the tree for a birds nest. He then waddled down the road into town. But the sun was burning his exposed face, so he started to cry. The people looked at him but they didn't stop to ask why he cried for they saw him everyday crying. Fed up with the towns people, little Wikim sauntered home. When he finally arrived he nestled inside his cardboard box with his eggs.  His tummy grumbled with hunger but all he had were cucumbers growing out of a hole and he hated the taste of eggs. So instead he rubbed chewed cucumber on his face for healing the suns punch.  When his face finally stopped hurting, he was so angry with hunger that he threw the eggs (which were really old tennis balls) down the street, smashing a nearby window.

He had been pretending to be a bird because he loved them and they were the only ones who seemed to understand him. Suddenly a rumbling and tumbling noise came bellowing down the alley way "Oh no!" thought Wikim, it was the Red man! Gibberish was flowing from the mans  mouth as the red tendrils of his hair flapped gracefully behind him. Abruptly red man sprouted forth bowling pins from his man bag, "You MuSt pay for breaking my window!!" he cried.Wikim ran he wasnt letting redman use his head for musical compositions ever again.

Wikim dived down into the hole of the underground sewer system. He shook off the dust then ran as fast as he could into the maze of tunnels. Panting, Wikim bent over having got away for now. Later though he stumbled on something and to his terror it got a hold of him, they wrested over the ground, he felt its crusty limbs holding onto his leg, he pried it off and broke free. It scattered away, sinking into the murky green sewer waters. But even as he continued down the sewers he felt its eyes following.

Wikim shivered wrapping his arms around him, he mourned for his dear eggs. "those meddling towns people!" he grumbled all the way. Stopping suddenly white with fear, in front of him appeared a wild looking girl pointing a gun his way. "Duck" she yelled, he ducked as she let off a thunderous boom that echoed through the tunnels. Wikim got up and saw behind him the crusty sewer monster dead, that girl had saved him!

He bowed in front her "I am forever in your Debt" she blinked at him, slowly bending down to smell his hair, "Yes" she let out in a snake like hiss. A vacuum cleaner sound came from the distance, the girl turned and ran towards it, "Wait!" wikim tripped over chasing her, she leaped nimbly like a cockroach up the tunnel walls "Shhhh-someones coming" she hissed scurrying further. Down came the redman, cheeks red, mad as hell "I have you now, You pay!"

The snake girl jumped in front of Wikim defensively and whacked the redman clean out, he collapsed, his cavernous mouth leaking strange green dribble.  Wikim turned to her amazed, he had never been helped before, "My Queen" he bowed down to kiss her snaky feet. "Ive used my ability to disarm the terribleness of his brain foreverrr!" she said. Wikim just stared, with her arms raised he could not help marveling at her birdlike beauty. She quickly leaned forward and licked him, than ran off down the tunnel leaving Wikim gasping for air.

Suddenly he awoke in his box, was it but a dream? he looked up from the alley way into skyrise windows and saw the girl looking down at him. Then something caught wikims eye in a tree, his grass hat nest. Had it really been a dream?