Safe In Your Arms (Thor x Loki)

Ghost

The next two weeks were a living hell for Loki, worse than Helheim itself. Thor had woken a week ago, but something had changed. When he had first opened his blue eyes again, they were dull..bland. Loki threw his arms around the older man, careful not to hurt him, but was shoved off forcefully with a strength the younger hadn't experience before.

He was infuriated at the younger, who stood beside his infirmary bed with confusion and pain in his expression and rivers of tears down his pale cheeks.

Loki hadn't slept at all since the incident. Hell, he hadn't done anything. He didn't sleep, eat, or even move from Thor's bedside.  Loki used magic to clean himself, all in the convenience of the chair he positioned to look directly at his brother. The only time Loki moved was to relieve himself in the bathroom, in which he did in a matter of 30 seconds.

The pain of seeing his other half lying unconscious in a bed was immense, but the hatred and anger when he woke hurt even worse. That night that Thor woke, he thrashed and yelled and sent Loki running out of the room in a sobbing mess. He blamed the attack and his harm on his brother. He told the younger that he was a monster, a freak, someone who doesn't deserve to be in Asgard, and certainly doesn't deserve to be loved.

After this, Loki went back to his destructive actions. His living quarters looked like a war zone, fragments and shreds of furniture, curtains, pillows, artwork, books, and blankets spewed everywhere. His knuckled were constantly bloodied and bruised from his fights with the cement walls. He has deep cuts and burns that stung like a million beestings when touched by water or clothing. His cheeks and eyes were sunken in again, his skin even more alabaster, his entire frame shaking no matter what he was doing.

Here Loki was, back to the state he was in when Thor found him, but some would say he was even worse now. He was blamed by Thor. He was called all those horrid names with the mouth that once soothed him at night with gentle whispers. He was shoved by the hands that once rubbed his back and held him close. He was told he could never be loved by the one thing he loved and had once been loved back by.

Loki stopped visiting Thor. Mother Frigga came to check on the younger often, bringing him water or soup broth, attempting to comfort him. She tried to explain that whatever happened to Thor changed something within his brain, but it wasn't permanent. Loki didn't care. He was hurt to much and he couldn't forgive Thor, no matter how much he wanted to.

At night, Loki often dreamed of sleeping next to Thor and looking over at the figure of the large man in his bed. His heart ached and his tears filled.

I'm searching for something that I can't reach..
My ghost..where'd you go?
I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me.
My ghost..where'd you go?
What happened to the soul that you used to be?

It was a vicious cycle..he would have the same dream, wake up clawing at his skin, be a mess the entire day, and then sleep again at night, only to wake up again in a couple hours.

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A.N.-
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