∞ jaspar one-shots

∞ Luckiest Girl In The World

Warnings: Not much, really... probably angst and sadness? (Is that even a warning?)

➶ Was loving me just

      a phase for you? ➴

"I love you."

Joe's eyes flickered up and away from the screen of his laptop and Caspar watched him wearily, he noticed the way that Joe tried his hardest to mask the surprise on his face - it was there for a second and then gone in a flash, replaced by a blank expression that Joe wore more often than not these days. Caspar could still hear the words echoing in the back of his mind, ghostly whispers that reminded him that something was wrong and urged him to do something to fix it. The truth was, Caspar didn't really know how to fix it, he didn't have a solution to the problem... he only knew that he had to confront it head-on.

"I know you do." Joe said eventually, after a few minutes of silence between the two boys, silence that had stretched on for miles and miles.

Caspar's heart fell slightly but he composed himself quickly, his mind telling him that he had been expecting Joe to give him this answer. For the past few days, Caspar had been the only one saying those three, empty words in their relationship and he had questioned them every time he had said them to Joe. If there was one thing Caspar had learnt about being in a relationship, it was that it worked both ways and it could only work both ways if both people committed to it, if both people were honest. Caspar hadn't exactly been honest to himself when he had first realized this feeling growing inside of him, he had tried to deny it and put it down to the fact that Joe was tired, he was stressed, he was busy... but the excuses were endless and then, he admitted to himself that there was a strange rift between him and his boyfriend.

Their relationship was becoming one-sided.

"Why don't you say it back?" Caspar asked hesitantly, his voice hoarse.

"I do say it back."

"No, you don't," Caspar whispered, shifting on the couch so that he could face Joe properly, no matter how much he didn't want to look into his beautiful, turquoise eyes and see the truth. "Not really."

"Caspar," Joe sighed, closing his laptop and glancing over at the younger boy. "Can we not do this right now?"

"Do what?"

"You know what you're doing!" Joe replied, his voice shaking at the end of the exclamation. He placed his laptop on the coffee table and stretched his legs out in front of him before reaching for the T.V remote.

Caspar was quicker and he snatched the remote away from Joe, placing it out of his reach. There was no way that Joe would avoid this conversation, no matter how hard he tried. It wasn't like Caspar wanted to have this conversation either but he was following his brain, he was following his heart, he was following every doubt he had inside of him and although he didn't want to get hurt... he just needed to know what was going on between them. "When do you want to do it then, Joe?"

"Give me the remote, Caspar!" Joe reached for the remote but Caspar tossed it away and it landed on the floor. They scrambled for the object but Caspar kicked it with his sock-feet and it slid under the table that was holding their T.V upright. "Caspar, what the hell?"

"When do you want to do it Joe?!" He asked again. "When do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about..." Joe mumbled, looking away from Caspar.