ocean waves → ziall

ten

❝i'm fine❞

z.

i didn't like knowing that freedom was with certain people.
for more clarification one person.

no matter where i wanted to go out, it seemed that these feelings were never fully felt. i wanted to get away, yet it never came and i felt myself missing that california beach.

i started this morning too deep in thought and sighed, getting up to go for the kitchen. i find stratton laying on the couch, flipping through channels. no sign of a hangover at all, and i immediately roll my eyes. of course he'd get use to partying.

"hey man, finally you woke up." he called from the lounge, while laughing. "how are you holding up right now?" i heard him speak at the doorway, and i looked towards his direction.

"what makes you say that?" i ask, grabbing myself a bowl and for cereal. "you look.. sick. love sick. is it some chick back in cali?"

i laughed, "no way bro, i don't like the thought of being with anyone right now." stratton crossed his arms, "sure, whatever you say. i got to get ready anyways. duty calls."

i shove a spoonful of cereal in my mouth so i could avoid talking to him. it's not like i don't enjoy his company or anything, but what he said annoyed me.

lovesick? yeah right, maybe homesick. finishing breakfast i watch stratton stroll out of his room, keys in hand. "where do you even work?" i called out, and he smirked. "a cute little diner not far from here. all the pretty ladies go there too."

i scoffed, of course. i keep wondering why i'm best friends with a man whore. "don't catch any STD's while you're at it, i don't need you complaining to me." he laughed, loud and boyish, "never." he replied and closed the door.

maybe i could go over, after all, i need something to keep my mind busy than wonder about what i miss back home.. or who i miss.

when it's past noon i decide to head out, taking my car that i left back here. before i even take 10 minutes on the road i see that fancy sign shining Delilah's Diner. i also see that a bunch of teens come here for a quick hang out.

i enter and as i walk up to the register i hear giggles towards my way and smirk a little, still irresistible. i see stratton chatting up a group of probably highschool girls and see someone at the register. i almost do a double take, the short blonde hair and blue eyes reminding me of someone i tried to get away from.

i'm relieved to hear a heavy yorkshire accent instead of an irish one. i quickly order a sandwich and drink, paying the boy and giving a name for my order. i walk over to stratton and excuse him, leaving them giggling. "bro what the hell are you doing!" he whisper yells and i bring him a little farther away, "those girls are too young for you! remember when you hit on that sophomore and you had to deal with her parents! don't make me mention that freshman either." he sighed, mumbling an apology.

i heard my name being called and went to get it, thanking the guy once again. "so, what brings you here anyways." he asked, i shrug sitting us at a booth. "what do you even do here?"

he apparently was there to keep the place clean and help get orders or something extra if the customer wanted it. by that, i meant food. i laughed when i spilt my fizzy drink and he immediately cleaned it. this would be fun.

throughout the day i purposely spilt soemthjng just so he could clean it. finally i decided to just do one last thing before i left. pretending to be the most clumsiest i knock over my whole drink bringing a small amount of attention from the young adults.

i muttered a small 'oops' and watched stratton walk over here with a mop, "i will kill you malik." he muttered and i laughed putting a small tip in his apron before exiting. i noticed a brunette follow me out, and i pulled out my lighter.

taking a cigarette from my pocket and lighting it. "h-hi." she stuttered, and i nodded her way, leaning against the building. "i.. i was wondering if you'd like to hang out with me sometime this week.." she started and i pulled out the cig, letting smoke disperse into the evening air.

"how old are you?" i cut her off, and she flushes at the sound of my voice, reminding me of someone back home.. with a better look for it. "i-i'm sixteen."

i laughed shaking my head, "i'm twenty five, i don't think your parents would like it that much, do you?" i watched her eyes widen slightly. "i.. i'm sorry i didn't know." i shrugged, "s'fine." then i walked away to my car.

when i arrived home i went on the couch, sighing and looking at the time. groaning i knew dinner will be needed so i simply ordered pizza. when stratton arrived i told him there was pizza and went to my room. i already ate half of the box so he should be fine.

laying in bed, i was well aware that i promised to be back.. but i'm.. i don't think i'm ready to face him again. i heard a knock on my door and it opened revealing stratton.

"hey." he said, and i sat against my headboard, "what's up?" i asked, and he did his nervous smile i knew too much, as well as scratching the back of his neck. "i was wondering what is up with you man, you seem different."

"i'm fine." i stated, looking away from him and he sighed. "look, zayn.. just tell me what's wrong? you don't seem like the same person i saw years ago."

i laughed, "because i never met anyone who made me feel this way before.." stratton gave me a half smile patting my back, "it's not going to get any better unless you go for it."

putting my head in my hands i rubbed my face, "what do you suppose i do? he doesn't even like me." i watched him shove his pizza in his mouth, and chewed while thinking.

"maybe it's time to settle down. you're just too scared to do it with someone who makes you feel different. look, mate, don't end up like me alright? i once had this girl who i knew was different and she wanted to get serious. i was too afraid because what if the feelings i had were bad? so i let her go,

now i go through hundreds of girls trying to get that good feeling back. don't make that same mistake alright? you can stay a few more days but not too long, someone might take that person away."

i sighed, looking in his eyes, "i-i guess your right but i'm just not... i don't think i'm ready." stratton laughed, taking another bite, "you don't have to be ready for love man, it hits you like a fucking brick. and it looks like you've gotten snagged by it."

i took a long breath, "well i need more time to think about it, so get out of my room." stratton laughed, "whatever you say bro, if you need more time to talk i'm here."

he paused at the door, and i looked at him expectantly. "don't think too hard by the way.. just let it happen." i rolled my eyes, "shut up before i shove that pizza crust down your throat."

++

hello,

i decided to edit this, and i know it's so long but damn.. i just needed something to write.

vote. comment.
how do you think zayn is holding up?

-softlou x