Without Artifice

Chapter 2

I felt him sigh softly against my lips, his own inches away from my face. He was so close, but I stepped back. I didn't know why.

Those eyes looked into mine, gentle, understanding, a soft smile on his pink lips.

"I understand." He said. "You're not ready. Maybe one day, you'll feel ready. I'm willing to wait, as long as you're always honest about your feelings for me. I'll be here, whether you need a friend or lover." He stroked my hair and beamed at me.

Then why wasn't he here anymore? Where was he when I needed him? Where had he gone?

Why is he gone?

*

"Miss Rina... it's time to wake up. It is 7.30 am. Your appointment with Mr. Black is in two hours time."

I opened my eyes and, as usual, Kai was standing there, yellow eyes staring into mine.

"Oh..." I felt tears run down my face. "You're not him..." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"Miss Rina, I don't understand." He tilted his head. "I am here for your wake-up call, as requested."

I blinked and jolted up in my bed. "N-nevermind, Kai... I'll get up."

I trudged to the bathroom as usual and stuck myself under the shower, turning it onto the hottest setting. What was even going through my head just now? Why was I dreaming of him, of all people? We hadn't known each other that long, yet I felt he knew me better than anyone else. I said that, but I didn't even know his real name - everyone just called him "Zero". But as soon as that creep stabbed me, he disappeared. Nobody I knew had a clue where he'd went either.

Was I really just too much to handle? Or was he just tired or waiting?

Either way, if he was here, perhaps I wouldn't be the way I am now. Perhaps I wouldn't even need Kai... or at least, not as much.

I shut my eyes and got on with washing myself. I shouldn't still be dwelling on this. It's been over a year. I need to breathe, to take a step forward, and get on with my life.

*

One thing that almost no other celebrity mentions about the lifestyle is the awful amount of travel time. I absolutely can't stand sitting around in a car or plane for hours on end, even though I've never driven any of those. It only made the thoughts in my head worse. In a way, I almost wish I could be a robot, just so that I wouldn't have to worry and shake like this.

As the car drove itself through what seemed like an endless stretch of road, I flipped through my usual online haunts on my phone, getting steadily more restless by the minute. Fuck, I need to think of something else.

I looked over at Kai, the events of what happened last night still fresh in my mind. He seems like he's back to normal... I think. He's looking out the window, but that's a learned behaviour that I've seen him do all the time, so I'm not worried.

It did remind me of something important though, so I turned to him. "Hey, Kai," I said softly, "Today I'll be acting, so if you see me getting hurt, don't come to my aid unless I press the button on the bracelet, or when I'm off the set. Don't go back to your usual settings until I say so, okay?"

He turned to me and nodded once. "Understood."

I gave him a quick smile just as the car stopped outside our destination.

The car stops at long last in the special car park, and Kai gets out before me, ready to shield me from any would-be threats, like paparazzi, crazy fans, that sort of thing.