Fade - Book I

01. Playing Dead

In a hazy state, I stood with my lips brushing against the cool surface of the microphone. I tightened my grip around it, feeling the butterflies soar around in my stomach. It was enough to excite me but enough to make me feel sick to my stomach too.

This was the first time I'd ever performed in front of an actual audience. I usually sang in the shower with an audience of just one. A yellow rubber ducky that had soulless black eyes. Well, at least it didn't judge me. It didn't exactly give me a round of applause either. But unlike Lady Gaga, I didn't live for the applause. I lived for the moments when people weren't throwing tomatoes at my head.

"Testing! One, two, three." I whispered into the microphone to ensure that it was working. My heavy breath brushed against it, echoing through the grim room. "My name is Lilith, but you can call me Lily! This is my first time-"

"You're a virgin?" A man that looked like a wildebeest interrupted me, causing my stomach to turn upside down. His granite colored eyes were dropped shut as drool collected at the corner of his slanted mouth.

He looked drunker than hell, so I excused his actions, even though I wanted to throw the microphone at his big ugly head. I'd been warned about the kind of people that gathered at River's Rock House. Alcoholics, drug abusers, drug dealers, criminals, but mostly music lovers. I pretended the music lovers balanced the other questionable people out.

"Don't listen to him, Silly Lily!" Connor, my best friend, replied from across the small stage. He was tuning his acoustic guitar at the last minute, but I could see the underlying support shining through his hazel eyes. The two of us always wanted to perform in front of people. He was a good singer, but an even better actor. I wish I'd known that back then.

He held the guitar pick in his mouth as he joined me on the compact stage. He somehow managed to make a few kissy faces at me, causing my cheeks to redden with blush and unwarranted embarrassment. "We can do this. I promise I won't mess up any chords as long as you don't mess up any notes."

"Deal." I smiled, holding out my itsy-bitsy hand. He side stepped me, giving me a hug, instead of a handshake. I laughed as I wrapped my arms around him, returning his sweet but unexpected gesture. "Thank you for being here. I couldn't do this without you."

"Always." His lips quirked into a grin and he began strumming the strings on the guitar, playing a melody that was almost as lovely as he was.

This was the moment I'd been waiting so long for. I was going to sing in front of a real crowd. My heart sped up and my palms were beginning to get clammy and sweaty.

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy! There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti!