Heart vs. mind (SwanQueen)

sick on Christmas eve

Regina's POV
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It's 4:30am the morning of Christmas eve, one of my favorite days of the year and I woke up sick for the 2nd day in a row. "At least I can get out of going to dinner with the charmings." I thought as I was crouched over the toilet with the bathroom door closed so Emma wouldn't hear. I'm looking down at the floor when I hear the door open. "Gina are you okay?" Emma asked with a deep look of concern on her face. I stood up and walked towards her. "Sorry emma, I don't think I'll be able to go to dinner with your family tonight. "That's okay, just rest, and if you feel better, we would love to have you join us." Emma said smiling at me.

Damn it! I hate disappointing Emma so much! I know she wants me to prove to get parents that I have changed, but if I go, I'll be misserable, which I guess I should be used to by now. Honestly this whole being sick thing is wierd. It only lasts for a few hours in the mor-... morning sickness. I'm pregnant? How the hell is that even possible? I mean I'm with Emma now and we have been for almost two months and Robin and I-.... shit! There was one time where robin and I were in my vault and he let his snake out of the cage. But that can't be possible because I drank the infertility potion, so I quickly shook the idea out of my mind.

I'm not going to lie, I think it would be great to have a child of my own, don't get me wrong, I adore Henry but he's Emma's son not mine and they seen to have more of a connection and I want something like what they have. But of course my mom had to screw everything up for me and tricked me into drinking that stupid potion. I thought she wanted to take my magic away. "Silly girl, if I wanted to take your powers I would have found a much more direct way. I wanted you to have a child for your own well being." She said after I drank the potion. I pretty much regretted drinking it right away. It was painful, and now because of my stupidity, I can't have what I've been wanting for so long. I also find it kind of confusing how my mom always told me "love is weakness!" Yet she wanted me to have love. Whatever. I don't have to worry about her anymore.