Night Changes (N.S MPREG)

20.

Harry's POV

"Do you think it's too soon for me to ask Louis out?" Liam asked me, his usually calm voice was suddenly a lot more nervous than I was used to hearing from him.

"Liam, what have I told you about asking me about your love life?" I asked, narrowing my eyes the brunet, who rolled his eyes in response. I loved Liam, I really did, but any potential romantic advice was practically a forbidden topic for us. At least from my side. 

"Sorry. I just like him a lot, you know? I don't want to mess things up. I trust your judgement, Harry."

"Have you forgotten that I don't know shit about relationships?" I asked bitterly. I wondered why Liam, the perfect boy, would ever need my judgement on something like this. Surely he was good enough to figure that out for himself. 

"Okay. You seem a lot more irritated than usual. What's wrong?" Liam questioned, looking at me curiously with a raised brow, seeming anything but disheartened by my attitude.

I hated the fact that Liam knew me so well. Sometimes it was good, considering my hesitance to open up. Though the rest of the time, I hated it because I then had to talk about something personal. That was something I would rather not do, even with Liam.

"I'm just...confused. I feel like my brain's fucking with me. Like one minute, Niall's getting on my nerves and I want to punch something but other times I just want to..." I trailed off, not exactly wanting to admit it to Liam.

"You want to what?" he questioned. Judging by his tone, he seemingly knew where I was going with this but knew better than to say anything without me admitting it.

"I-- fuck-- I want to kiss him, Liam. That's what's confusing me. I think I like him...but I shouldn't," I admitted, turning away from him. Hearing it out loud made me sound even more pathetic than I did in my head.

Looking back at him, I noticed that he was now grinning at me in a way that was somehow both smug and sympathetic. I knew it was because I had just admitted to him the very thing he had been saying this entire time. The very thing I had sworn to him would never happen. 

"Just say I told you so and we can move on," I huffed.

"I told you so," he grinned. "Maybe this a sign. This is good for you, Harry. Niall's good for you," he continued.

"No, he isn't," I snapped. "All this is doing is setting us both up to get hurt. I'm inevitably going to fuck things up and hurt him. Niall doesn't deserve that."

"You're a good person. You keep doubting yourself."

"It doesn't fucking matter how good of a person I am. What's done is done. I can't be happy in a fucking relationship and nothing will change that. No one can change that," I narrowed my eyes, trying to ignore the way my heart clenched at that thought.

"You don't deserve to live like this, Harry. You deserve to be happy. Niall can be the one to make you happy. You just have to let him," he replied softly.

"Stop saying shit like that. Don't you fucking realise that I can't be happy? Even if I can, it's not worth dragging Niall into this shit. It's just going to make his life more difficult," I snapped. 

"Harry--"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm just going to forget my feelings and soon enough they'll go away," I said.

"That's the one of the dumbest things I've ever heard you say. If you really have feelings for him, you won't just forget them. You try to act like you're some heartless monster with no empathy but you're not. I know that you care and I know that you want things to be different."