Changes | z.m.

Chapter 52

I sort of zoned out while she was explaining all of these things because there were a lot of beautiful babies in the room, and it was distracting. Rita, who sat next to me, seemed to be in the same state. The next hour went on quickly, as I socialized mainly with Rita.

We sang the babies songs, played with them, talked about mum things, and educational things as a group. Rita basically scarfed down most of the finger sandwiches while I watched with amazement. I did not miss my pregnancy days at all. When it was all over, Aiden was crying tiredly and I was getting hungry.

"Rita." I said before we left. "Give me your number, and then we can hang out sometime." She nodded and punched the digits into my phone and gave it back to me with a smile. "See you later." I waved with my free hand, pushing a crying Aiden in his stroller.

It had felt really nice to be able to do something like that. I felt quite mature and independent. I called Zayn once we were home just to say hello, but I got his voicemail. He and the boys worked so hard, and I really missed it when we got to hang out as a group all day. It was lonely being in the house with a baby I couldn't make conversation with.

Sighing, I carefully set Aiden down in his crib and set his stuffed animal next to him so he could hear Zayn singing. It made me angry to see Andrew's features on his face, because I wanted to forget all about him. Luckily, he looked like me for the most part.

It was weird how much Aiden had cried and screamed within the last few days. He seemed to always have this awful fussing noise if nothing else. I left the room quietly to let my baby sleep and so I could finally have something to eat.

It was weird being a mum, because I had automatically put Aiden before everything and everyone. It didn't matter how hungry I was, Aiden was my priority and if he needed to get his nap, then I would tend to him first. I noticed this change in Zayn too, especially when it came to me. No matter how much he wanted us to have some alone time, he would always insist that I go breastfeed Aiden first. Obviously that's just an example, but he was so selfless.

That's reason #927,654,043 to love Zayn.

I was so excited about moving in with him, and hopefully marrying him someday. I didn't tell Zayn, but I secretly hoped we had another baby when the time was right. I imagined what our baby would look like, definitely gorgeous if it had Zayn's genes. I spent the time it took to make and eat lunch thinking about our future, out family, everything.

Then I heard Aiden screaming again. Why was he so fussy lately? It wasn't usually like this at all. Stumped, I made my way over to the nursery so I could check on him. The screaming noises made me flinch. His voice sounded strained and urgent. I rushed over to the crib and gasped at what I saw. His skin was all red, and it sounded like his cries got worse.

Immediately, I picked him up and tried to figure out what was wrong. I'd never seen him or any baby in this state before and it worried me. As soon as I felt his forehead, I knew he had a fever. Aiden's skin was burning.

"What do I do?" I muttered to myself worriedly.

I had no clue what to do in this situation. So I did the only thing I could think of. I called Zayn. "Hello?" He answered after what seemed like forever.

"Zayn." I breathed. "God, I don't know what to do, and he won't stop screaming and his skin, and I've never done this before!"

"Whoa babe, what are you talking about?" It sounded like he stepped out of the room he was in because the background was silent.

"Aiden has a fever and his skin is red, he won't stop crying and I don't know what to do." I cried. I still held Aiden in my arms, rocking him as if that would stop the crying. It didn't.

"I'm on my way." Zayn said hurriedly and hung up on me. When I said he was selfless, I wasn't joking. I looked at my poor little son who was still miserable and felt the guilt spread throughout my mind. What kind of mum was I? How did this even happen? If that wasn't awful enough, Alfie came into the room and started barking, clearly alarmed by what was happening. My head started pounding as I cried along with my child.

***

"Zayn, you aren't helping the situation! Could you please try to be useful? Our son is sick, and who knows how bad it is!" I yelled at my boyfriend. He had gotten home about twenty minutes ago, and all he did was ask questions I didn't have answers to. I was still in panic mode, with a screaming child with a fever.

"I'm sorry for being concerned!" He retorted. "I don't know what to do in this kind of situation and clearly you don't either!"

I huffed angrily. "What the hell is wrong with you? This isn't Jerry Springer! It's serious! Our child's health is on the line!"

"You were the one who yelled at me!" He yelled in exasperation. The yelling seemed to make Aiden scream even louder. We'd never fought at all, and I never thought we'd end up screaming at each other like this. The stress was causing us all to reach our boiling points.

"I don't care, Zayn! That's not important right now! Go get the thermometer." I ordered.

He sighed and ran to the bathroom to find it. I continued to rock the baby around, attempting to quiet his cries. All I could think about was how terrible this must've been for him. Zayn returned and handed the thermometer to me and I hurriedly took Aiden's temperature.

"One hundred and one degrees Fahrenheit." I read. "Shit."

"What?" Zayn's eyes widened.

"That's too high, especially for how small he is. We need to get him to a doctor." My heart was pumping hard as Zayn put his face in his hands and scurried out to get his shoes, repeating swear words under his breath on the way.

I tried to get Aiden some shoes on, pack the diaper bag, and hold him at the same time, which made me a clumsy mess. I didn't care at all. Zayn came back into the nursery and took the diaper bag for me while I carried Aiden. My shoes were also in his hand for when we got in the car. We rushed into the car and sped to the hospital.

And just when things just started to go perfectly.