***Author's note: I do not own the poem mentioned in this chapter, nor do I claim to own the material***
Dear Diary,
They found Brooklyn's lifeless body today, I led them to her body. She had began the process of rigor mortis already and her body had swelled up. Her once frail arms the size of over-filled water balloon ready to burst out the decomposing innards of her flesh. She smelled of a smothering scent of human waste, and pine. Her skin a grotesque color almost the mirror image of a smurf or an avatar. It was presumed that she had been there no less than a day, and no more than three. The most shocking of all was the cause of death: suicide. She cut her wrists deeply, and ended up slitting her own throat. Apparently that didn't get the job done, so she swallowed a lot of various pills. The amount taken of each separately would not of proven fatal, but the assortment of chemicals in the medications proved to be extremely toxic, and resulted in the death of the closest thing to a sister that I have. She gave me the strength to continue fighting through treatment, and made me feel complete.
***Later that day***
"Please don't make me... I don't want any meds or food...or anything", I say mournfully.
"Sweetie I know this is hard for you, but you must stay strong. She would not want you to go down the path you are going down. She would want you to eat, take your medications, sleep, and move on."
"If she cared anything about me, you, or any one else she would not of killed herself. She would not of left me to fight the hardest fight I will ever fight all alone if she cared anything about me. She would not of took the cowards way out, and left us all to deal with the loss of our shining star, if she cared!"
"Sweetie, she is not a coward! She was going through a lot of trials and tribulations. She fought for as long and hard as she could, Jaedyn, but she just could not go any further. If you knew where her body was, where she had ran away to, why did you not tell someone sooner?"
Brooklyn Skye Lancaster born to the late George Hershel Lancaster and Wanda Jane Lancaster. She was brought in this world by her loving parents on June 21, 2001. She was a sophomore in high school and had been enrolled as a formal student at Clear-Waters High School. She was on a medical leave of absence for several months proceeding her death.
Sister Lancaster accepted Christ as her Savior with Corner Rock Church of Christ, where she served as a faithful member of the youth ministry.
She will be dearly missed, and her short time here was greatly appreciated. She was loved by people that knew her and knew just how bright her light shone. She was also loved by those who did not know her on a personal level, but knew of her good works she did for the community and other aspects of human life. She is proceeded in death by her father, two brothers, and a sister. Following a fatal accident and the loss of her family she was placed in the care of her mother.
Funeral services will be held from 3pm until 5pm tomorrow at Morrison Creek Funeral Home. Burial will be at 2pm the following day.
I never thought that I would be reading these words about my best friend, a.k.a my sister, and never thought I would be breathing with out her breathing too. It is hard to believe that she is gone. Here is a poem that describes her:
Girl Forever Gone
Her face is puffy and red, while painful tears stream down her sad face.
She cries out loudly, hoping someone will hear her silent screams.
So many voices going through her head,
telling her how better she would feel if she were dead.
She places her shaking hands over her ears, trying not to listen.
She yells out once again for help, yet no one comes to her rescue.
She then remains sitting there on her cold bathroom floor, while the clock ticks by.
Her body begins to shake uncontrollably, unable to stop it all.
Starting to realize that no one cares, feeling so alone and helpless.
She finally comes to the decision that there is only one thing left to do.
She brings her shaking hands together, closes her eyes and prays.
She speaks to god one last time and tells him this:
"Lord, I'm so tired and the pain inside doesn't want to go away.
I can no longer shed anymore tears, for my eyes hurt me really bad.
The voices in my head don't want to go away.
My heart aches so bad that it's become too unbearable for me.
No one loves me, no one cares, no one wants me, and no one can help me now.
I tried being the good girl everyone wanted, but it wasn't good enough.
All I wanted was for someone to love me God.
Was I asking too much?
I'm so sorry God but I have to end my suffering the only way I know how.
Please forgive me God for what I'm about to do."
She opens her eyes for the last time, and quickly grabs for the razor blade.
She forces the sharp blade against her wrist.
She starts slitting her veins, deeper and deeper into her flesh.
The dark blood pours out more and more onto the floor all over.
Feeling weaker and weaker, becoming more and more unconscious by the seconds,
the blade drops from her hand onto that cold floor, her final resting place.
Her cold body now collapses to the floor and she slowly begins to feel the pain fade away along with her soul, finally falling into an endless sleep.
She lays there dead, yet free of pain.
It is now quiet, no screams, no tears, no suffering, just utter silence.
~Author Unknown~
