Leap in the Dark

Chapter 4: A Night Out

Running down the stairs while trying carefully not to trip is not the easiest thing, and even harder while wearing heels. My heart was furiously beating, trying to rip its way out of my chest, but I held on, not quite ready to let it go just yet. Although if tonight doesn't go well, I might just wish it did.

Stopping and taking a relaxing breath, I stood in front of the door. Without wasting anymore time, I tore the door open swiftly, not giving myself a chance to back out. A stunned Paul was left in it's place, as he was not quite expecting the surprising entrance.

"Hey, uh - Hi!" I perkily shouted at him. Toning it down I said as relaxed as I could, "Great to see you."

"Ready to go?". He took no notice of my change in voice and sounded enthusiastic to see me, something that made me smile right back at him. "Yes, of course!"

Grabbing my small clutch, I followed him out of the door, locking it behind me. Once we got to the car, he opened my door for me, and I graciously thanked him. Not once had someone ever done that for me.

This small but thoughtful act made me think about the definition of what tonight was. Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls that cling to a guy and question "what does this mean", but it doesn't stop me wondering. I like to think of myself as rather independent, especially recently, so if he was expecting something more than friendship I'm not sure I could give it.

But am I overthinking this though? He probably isn't being that serious about it. I mean I was just going to be introduced to some people, dinner and maybe some drinks. That doesn't scream 'I love you'! Just a couple of friends hanging out, or a casual date at the very most.

Plus, Paul seemed like a pretty casual guy, I mean he could have anyone he wanted. So I'm sure I wouldn't be at the top of his list. Not that I care though. To be honest, I don't think he's on the top of mine. This may seem strange though, but I couldn't stop thinking about -

"- Hello? Madison?"

Whoops! "Uh - yeah sorry, what were you saying again?"

He continued on about his high school, something about football? I don't know, maybe I should listen.

"Anyway, where did you go to school?" He continued on, not noticing my absence in the conversation.

"Macquarie University, but I dropped out half way. I'm hoping to finish my degree at the local college once the new semester starts."

"Wow, sounds great!" Geez this guy was peppy. "What were you studying?"

"Teaching. I love kids, and couldn't see myself working in any other job."

"Then, why did you drop out?"

My face dropped and a quiet atmosphere fell upon the car. I sought for something, anything, to say, but I couldn't think of an explanation that I could manage to get out that wasn't too specific or without emotionally falling apart. It was just too soon to open that door again, especially with someone I barely knew and would rather not look insane in front of.

The awkwardness was sensed in the car, with Paul having realised he hit a nerve. He stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say either. Instead, I squeezed out a whispered, "It's a long story," before going quiet again.

Trying to fix the problem, Paul spoke. "Look, I didn't mean to pry or anything -"

"It's ok, seriously. It wasn't you." He nodded, relieved that he hadn't caused the problem, and continued focusing on the road. Within seconds, his enthusiasm came back, and I appreciated his simplicity. Surrendering myself to the moment and putting my past behind me, at least for a couple hours.