A Glimpse of Fiction

Boundaries

Trigger Warning - if you are easily triggered, please do not read. Thanks, and stay safe xo

A/N A slightly depressing thing I found in my drafts box

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I just want you to hold me, yet I don't want to be touched. 

I don't want your perfect hands to find the scars that I'm so close to reopening. I  don't want to see the comparison between your beauty and my worthlessness. I can't bear the thought of you having to look at me and tell me you love me, when I can see the lies in your eyes.

I just want you to hold me, yet I'm scared of what will happen.

I don't know that your touch will be kind, your face comforting as you hold my hand. I don't know if you will hold me as I cry, or if you will pull me to my feet and throw me, kick me and leave me crumpled. I don't know if you will realise I'm not the one you need, after all.

I just want you to hold me, yet I don't know if I can return it.

I don't want you to realise that I don't know what I'm doing. I don't want to be scared that you could make a sudden movement, or a loud noise, and I won't know what to do. I don't want to know what will happen if that happens.

I just want you to hold me, yet I can't bear to be touched.

I don't think I would be able to tell you where the boundaries are because I'm so scared you'll want to cross them and I'll have no say in it. I don't know how you'll react if I say that. I don't know very much when it come to you, except that you don't love me.

I just want you to hold me, yet there's too many boundaries between us.