Patience

Cannonball

It was lunch break and as Brandi was getting used to, she sat on the leather couch in the cafeteria. This time she wasn't writing in her diary. She had in her hands Seth's CD and letter. The letter which, by the way, she had already read more than 40 times.

She had her eyes still glued to the letter when Ryan passed by her in the cafeteria. Knowing it was Seth's letter she was reading, Ryan decided not to approach her and let her be for the time being. She needed to think about Seth and Ryan wanted everything to work out between them, so he didn't meddle. He just took another look, smiled and headed outside.

'He remembered what I said to him the first time we talked when I said I liked music lyrics. He was paying attention to me.' Brandi really fell for a guy more easily when she knew was actually paid attention to things she'd say. That was really important to her, to know that her maybe partner to be listened to her. Most guys didn't pay attention to girl's talking.

Brandi played with the CD in her hands. She was dying to listen to it, but, again, she was afraid of something. Afraid of what feelings could come out of listening to the song. Something was telling her the song would be perfect and she'd fall even harder for Seth... What she couldn't tell was if she was prepared for that. But Brandi had trouble with her anxiety, so she abruptly got up and headed to her car.

She got inside her car and stared at the CD player. She kept playing with Seth's CD in her hand.

"Screw it. Let me get it over with." she said out loud, took the CD out of its case and inserted it on her CD player.

"Hey, Brandi." Brandi frowned when she heard Seth's voice coming from the speakers "I know you are waiting to hear the song I picked out for you, but first, I just wanna say thanks for actually deciding to listen to it. Itreally means a lot to me. And before the song starts, I just wanna say, once again, so there will be no doubt about it from your part, I'm really sorry. You've been the one constant thing in my mind for this past week, and Idon't wanna lose you. You're really special to me, and I really like you. I just wanna get to know you better, and for you to get to know me better and that way, you can see for yourself that we can be perfect for each other.Because I already have.

So I hope you find it in your heart someway to forgive me for everything I've done to make you mad or angry or upset, so we can carry on from where we've left off: that awesome kiss we shared at the party.

Well, without further ado, I leave you with Damien Rice and the lyrics that I feel I should have written for you. But couldn't, because, well, I'm not that good with words.'

After Seth's message, Brandi smiled a bit. He was a dork. And she liked that about him. A lot.

When the slow and perfect melody started playing, she bit her lip in anxiety. She wanted to hear the lyrics very carefully, so she turned up the volume a little. It soon started.

There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
It's still a little hard to say what's going on

There's still a little bit of your ghost, your witness
There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
That I can't say what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

There's still a little bit of your song in my ear
There's still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life, it taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon...
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to cry
So come on courage
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
and I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

(Cannonball – Damien Rice)

When the song ended, Brandi stared at the CD player like an idiot. The lyrics were perfect. The melody was perfect. Everything was perfect. But... was that actually what Seth was feeling? She hit the button and listened to the song again.

After the second time, she stopped to analyze it better. That was what she'd do with lyrics. Analyze them.

"He's screwed up. He's a mess. I'm a mess. I have no idea what I want. He's confused but at least he knows what he wants..." it hit her "Me. He wants me." she shook her head "And... Love, it thought me to lie? So, he's lying to me because he's in love with me? Nah, that can't be it. We've known each other for a week now. Maybe he lies because the other love of his life made him think to do that. That makes more sense. And he doesn't wanna lose or scare me. He wants and needs to get to know me better, that's why he's asking me to come closer. Oh, God!"

Brandi was tired of analyzing stuff. She didn't want to analyze anything else. She took the CD out of the player, placed it in the case and headed to her next class. She was tired of it all. She wouldn't do this alone. After classes, she'd go to the source. She'd talk to Seth.