South Park The Stick of Truth: The Princess and The Dragon born

Ch 5 Bards and Bedtimes

0•0Cartman's POV0•0
Fucking Douchebag! Being able to talk pretty much this whole fucking time and not saying anything! And what's this bullshit about not knowing his own name? Whatever, according to Craig and Butters, we're supposed to call him 'D' now.

"Wahahaha Mommy!" An elf cries running Down the stairs and out the door.

"Ahh! W-what was that about?!" Tweek yells.

"Must've been D." Craig responds a hint of fear flashing in his eyes. Ok when did Craig become a pansy? Douchebag what did you do!?

"Whatever. Come on let's get the stick back. Unless D has already gotten it. HE BETTER NOT BE KEEPING IT FOR HIMSELF!" I yell realization hitting me.

"Dude let go!" The voice of Princess Kenny yells. The hell?

We finish climbing up the stairs to see her/him trying to open the door. "Princess Kenny! How badly did they rape you!?" I question.

"Wha- IS THAT WHAT YOU TOLD HIM THEY WERE DOING! FUCKING DUMBASS HE NEARLY BROKE A GUYS ARM!" Kenny yells at me pointing to Jimmy's parents' room.

"Well how was I supposed to know they weren't raping you or that D would go ape shit!?" I counter. "Where is Sir D anyways?"

"I told him to stay in there until he cooled off. You should've seen him. It was badass and kinda scary at the same time. If he ever decides to leave your fatass for the elf King I just might follow him." Kenny says looking towards the room.

Somethings up. Kenny wouldn't leave just because someone's pretty strong. I mean he usually avoids fighting anyways! Maybe he's gay for D? Pfffft ya right! Kenny's the perverted  lady's man of South Park elementary! He's always looking at those porn magazines with women, not dudes!

"Alright whatever. D! Get out here so you can help us beat up the Bard!" I yell as I walk over to Jimmy's closed bedroom door. I attempt to turn the door knob but it doesn't move at all.

"What th- JIMMY LET GO OF THE KNOB!"

"N-No!"

"LET GO OF THE KNOB TGATS CHEATING!"

"N-No it's not!"

"YES IT IS!"

"No! I have the s-stick and I say it's not cheating!"

"Hey you! Don't suppose you're gonna willingly put the ladder down are you?" The voice of D asks. I look behind me and see D looking up towards the attic.

"No way! You are never getting up here!"

"Is that so? Well I guess you're not getting any of this then! Tee hee hee!" Princess Kenny says in her/his girlish voice as he/she exposes his/her chest.

"Ooo boobies! Come here baby!" The stupid elf says lowering the ladder and climbing downwards. Once he is down low enough Kenny smacks him with his mirror and fixes his clothes.

"Alright Sir D, Butters, you guys go up there an-" and D is already up there. And Butters is climbing the ladder yelling at him to wait. GOD DAMMIT THEY NEED TO LISTEN TO MY AUTHORITY!

"He may not listen to you anymore but you've gotta admit, he gets shit done." Token says looking up at the hole where both Butters and D disappeared.

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]Dovahkinn/D's POV[
As usual it's me and Butters doing all the work. Beating up the elves and fighting the boss. Well I assume at least. Oh ya I might've created a hole into this kid's room. Oops.

Don't ask how, because it was really just one thing leading to another. Me and Butters jump down into the bedroom. The Bard had moved away from the door now so Butters simply ran over and opened it. I was just glaring at the bard. I think the Princess called him Jimmy?