My Angel

Chapter 4 Daddy

December 7, 2004

I sat in Derek's Black 2004 Honda outside of the Diner I was supposed to meet Mac. I was so nervous that as I saw him at the window looking out I started to have second thoughts I can't believe I'm about to meet my father. After nineteen years of believing that someone was your father to just find out it was a lie. At first I was hurt from what my mom told me but it made sense after looking back. Mark never treated me as his child I never felt at home with him I never felt that connection matter of fact we were always at each other's throat he was one of the main reasons I wasn't home him and the fact that we lived in the projects. I hated telling my friends I was from their sometimes I lied Devon would come here to see me once in a while but not too often because he was afraid of getting shot he mostly left me at the bus stop. I remembered that asshole had left me their two in the morning after a party, I had slept out there many times because of him not wanting to take me home and me not having money to get on the bus but I always had an angel around me the lady who drove the 5:00am route always let me ride for free.

"Derek I'm not going in" I sighed.

"Yes you are, now get up and go in if you don't you'll regret it" he smiled.

I know how much having a dad in your life means to him since his was a total douche. I got out and opened the door to the diner I have been here a couple of times with Derek it's not fancy but it's not run down either I liked it here and I felt comfortable here that's why I had suggest here to Mac. He sat there in a white v neck t-shirt, black jeans and black loafers sipping on his coffee and staring at some magazine.

"Hi Mr. Mac" I said while I approached his table.

"Hello Carmen have a seat" I sat down immediately my feet were killing me.

He sat there looking at me as if he was searching for a flaw or maybe he was as nervous as me. After a few minutes of him staring at me and me doing the same I spoke.

"So" he broke out of his trance.

"Oh yes, so how is life Carmen?"

"Well I'm 6 months pregnant working a dead end job, I can't attend college because my mom spent all my college money that I didn't even know about" he looked angry after I said that.

"They did what" he shouted in rage the whole diner turned to us that's how loud he was.

"It's not really there fault I wasn't no angel"

"Oh I know you're not, your aunt told me everything"

"Miss Smith is your sister" shit I was so rude to her that's why she always let me off so easy and that's why she cared so much. I remembered when she told me once  to stop wasting my life and I told her to fuck off her facial expression was one mix with shock and disappointment I didn't care I made the class laugh that's all that mattered to me then.

"Yes she is" he gave me a knowing look "that aside what do you want Carmen?"

"I want to move out West Side Chicago and I want to go to college" I said.

He nodded "okay I'm going to make that happen but you have to quit that job and find the college you want to attend on your own, I want a relationship with you I don't want to be just a bank, I also want to be in my grandchild's life, you will also work for me and you'll have Friday night dinner with both me and your grandmother is that a deal".

I nodded in agreement that sounded okay "yes it's a deal".

He sipped some of his coffee and looked up at me "this coffee is great much better than the dirt they serve at the place you work, oh and you have to search for the apartment too search for somewhere that will be comfortable for you and your child don't worry about the price".