Chapter 1- Moving

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Chapter 1- Moving

 The last of the boxes were stacked together in my new room. I stared at them solemnly as I sat on my already prepared bed.

 I was here.

 After a year of putting it off I had finally kept my promise and moved in with Helena, my mom. During the blisteringly cold winter of Manitoba, Canada.

 It was the right thing to do. That's what I kept telling myself.

 But I already missed our old house in our hometown Charleston, South Carolina. And I missed my big brother, Logan.

 It made sense for me to give him his space, although he’d not held back on showing me how much he was sad to see me go. Apart from the free maid he’d lose and the company, I’m sure the empty house with no restrictions would soften the blow.

 Still, he embraced me for longer than I had expected at the airport. His eyes even welled up with tears as he lightly cuffed me under the chin. I didn’t openly reciprocate the emotions. It’s just the way I am.

 I can’t remember the last time I cried in front of anyone. I can’t even remember the last time I’d cried alone, even when my dad, Eric, had died over a year ago, before my eighteenth birthday.

 Although it had killed me when the hospital had phoned the house and mom had collapsed onto the floor in a fit of sobs, I held it all inside. I knew if I broke down then, when everyone needed me, I’d be of no use. It may sound like a contradiction but it was just too painful to cry.

 My sister was mighty fragile, Helena needed help organizing everything, Logan needed to be left alone to mourn and then when he came back out of his shell, I’d be there to make him forget everything, at least for a little while.

 I never let them know how tiring this was for me. How it drained whatever energy I could produce each day but it was easier than the alternative. Breaking down. I was too much of a coward to let that happen.

 Despite how tiring it was pretending I was okay, time with Logan made it easier because we did things we both enjoyed. The things that we had shared with Eric. Bike rides, hiking, camping.

 I could tell Helena was about ready to chide both of us after our third hike that month, but when she’d seen the look of calm and peace in Logan’s face -and mine I’m sure- she’d kept silent.

“Cora! Dinner’s ready!”

 I blinked my thoughts away and walked slowly out my room and downstairs.

 Helena was standing over the dinner table putting down two, steaming plates of spaghetti. She beamed when she saw me enter. “You want me to help you unpack the rest of your things?”

 “No thanks. I’ll do it.” I forced a smile in return and sat down to eat.

 Sadie ran in and made noises of satisfaction when she saw her favorite meal on the table. Helena never knew what I liked best because I never said. Personally I have no preference, food is food, but I love her cooking and make many efforts to tell her so.

 “You like you’re new room hon?”

 “Yeah. It’s perfect.” I took a mouthful of spaghetti.

 “I helped paint it, and I picked the colour. You like?” Sadie added wiping sauce from her lip.

 “Yeah it’s great.” I changed the subject. “When do I start college?”

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