A Sly Trick

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I don't remember falling asleep. I definitely remember all of last night though. I grudgingly open my eyes to see that I'm on my own. Can I really be bothered to get up?  "Hurry up!"  A voice said. "It's 8:30.  We have a job to do before eleven, and who knows when they'll leave Diagon Alley." 
"Who?" I tried to say, but only a grunt came out. I cleared my throat. "Who?" 
"Harry and Ron of course."
"Are you like.. I dunno.. Stalking them?" I asked.
"Of course not! I just put tracking devices on them, so that I can trace their every move."
"That's stalking"
"Shut it, Dorko"
"Hey, that was mean and uncalled for."
"Well, I don't care.  Hurry up ferret, I need to transfigure you."
"Why?"
"Because you are going to take the role of Max Beverly, the older brother to my Elise Beverly." She then waved her wand. My clothes turned into shorts and a red T-shirt, and I groaned.  "What is it with you griffindors and red?"
"Shut it Malferret."
"Sheesh, I was just sayin'"
"Look the plan is to trick Harry and Ron into coming to the fortress, and then we'll keep them here, against their free will.  Easy Peasy."
"Do you think that kidnapping the two most famous people will go unnoticed."
"Yes, because I bribed Rita Skeeter into putting out that the Potters and the Weasleys are going on holiday."
"Wow. That's a sly plan. Are you sure you weren't a Slytherin."
"I could have been, if I was a pureblood."  She looked as if I had said something foul.   She pulled up her left sleeve, and looked a something.  Focusing on it, I saw it was the word Mudblood, put there by my aunt Bellatrix. I can't help but feel guilty.

I know that there is no 'Mudblood' on her arm in the books, but I needed emotion.   Also, I hopefully will add more funny bits!!

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