"Love is love, whether it's platonic or being in love; it's wanting someone to always be safe and happy; it's always needing that person by your side or in your focus because without love, you'd be empty. I once was empty. I once never had you."
~~~
Harry couldn't find a word, no word, no damn word in the whole entire fucking dictionary, if he tried it, to describe his feelings right now.
He felt as if someone had pulled out his stomach, maybe even his heart if he possibly had any of that left. He felt so empty and so defeated.
Harry was running, running towards the hospital, trying not to cry because he's had enough of that. He barely heard Louis slam the car door and take off after him.
Harry only had one thing on his mind- Ed.
No, Harry couldn't be in love with Ed, it was impossible, really. Harry was too far, too solid with Louis. Harry didn't feel with Ed, not like he did with his Louis, but Harry cared so much about Ed, so fucking much. Ed was the last piece of Gemma that Harry had.
Selfish, aren't you?, a voice cooed in Harry's head, a horrible voice, but he already knew, knew he was selfish and didn't deserve the love that Ed or Louis or even his family had given him.
He always fucked up.
You're a fuck up, Harry. It's all you'll ever be.
And Harry could only reply with, Tell me something I don't know.
"Ed- I need- Ed Sheeran," Harry gasped as he stepped in front of the receptionist desk. It was four in the morning and a few people were asleep here in the lobby. The woman blinked at him before giving him a once-over.
"And you are?"
"My name is Harry Styles but I feel as if that's unimportant since my- my... My friend is dying and I just- I need- I have to see him, please."
Harry had stooped extremely low. He never begged.
The woman at the desk move her eyes behind Harry and he turned himself around, spotting a pale-faced Louis.
The older lad stepped up beside Harry, smiling as best as possible at the lady. "It would just be really great if we can go up into that room and see Ed-"
"It's rather early. I'll have to see if he's sleeping or in surgery or-"
"Look," Harry grumbled, shoving Louis's phone in her face. "That's Ed boyfriend, he's texting us now saying Ed is asking for us, so can you fucking please let me go see him?"
The receptionist looked surprised, but she eventually told them the room and floor number- as if Harry hadn't already asked Niall- and they went straight to the elevator.
Harry was anxious, twitching his fingers and biting his lip. The elevator chimed and they darted out, Harry skidding to a halt jn front of the right door and pushing it open.
Ed looked a right mess. Niall wasn't any better off.
"Ed," Harry said immediately, stepping forward and taking Ed's ice cold hand. "Ed, look at me. are you alright? Are you-"
"Fine," Ed replied, but his voice was soft for once and he just looked so weak and fragile. "M'fine."
"Excuse me, who are you?"
And Harry hadn't even noticed the nurse by Ed's side.
"I'm... A friend."
"Practically my brother," Ed spoke, smiling weakly and Harry forced himself to smile, forced himself to act like this was all going to be okay.
