"Lo-"
"Hold on let me finish." Lauren interrupted, "I shouldn't of left your house in the first place. That was my first mistake. And I shouldn't of told you to fuck off either. That was wrong. I know you didn't mean to upset me." She paused, "But most of all, I'm sorry I did that shit again. And I know sorry won't make up for the promise I broke but I'm going to try really hard to stop. Before I was just trying to ignore the urges and replace them but now I'm really gonna stop. I don't know how yet, but I am. And that's a promise I'm going to keep."
"Lauren-"
"-Please don't."
"Don't what?"
"Say that you forgive me."
"It's not like it matters if I do anyway."
Lauren quirked her brow up in confusion.
"If you don't forgive yourself then it doesn't mean anything."
"..."
"You have to forgive yourself for the things people have already forgiven you for."
"But what if they haven't forgiven you?"
"What do you mean?"
"What if you and your friends only forgive me because of your love for me."
?
"It's not like I ever apologized to them."
"Yeah well, I guess you didn't have too. I mean yeah they'd appreciate it but you've shown your regret in that ways that they can't even begin to ask for any other form of forgiveness."
"They also see you for you. They understand that you're not the same girl who ruined people's lives. You were never that girl. And you never wanted to be."
"But what if I am?" She despartely asked.
"What if I'm really that person?"
"You're not-"
"But what if I am?!" Lauren almost yelled.
"Lauren."
"Shit." She cursed at herself, "I'm sorry. I just-" she struggled, "I don't know who I am anymore. And it's really starting to scare me."
"Lauren I think you're just overthinking this..."
"But I'm not. What if...what if I'm really the girl I am at school. What if that's always been me but I only showcase it there? Or what if I've been her for so long that I actually became her?"
Lauren none if that can be true. It's not you.
"But how do you know?"
"..."
"How are you so sure?"
"Because that's not who I fell in love with."
Lauren almost gasped as she met my gaze.
"I know that. For a fact."
YOU ARE READING
The Girl Nextdoor
FanfictionCamila Cabello is an average girl. She's not popular, or somewhere in between. She belongs to a group that her school refers to as the Brains. She's extremely smart, involved in many educational clubs and the only thing fun in her life, advanced cho...
Chapter 62
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