Teach Me How to Love Again (Sequel to Dirty Little Secret)

Chapter 32: Next Time You Point a Finger, I'll Point You to the Mirror

*~(The title of this chapter is from Playing God by Paramore.)~*

Gerard had been very distant lately, even after what we did in his classroom, so I was keeping my distance from him. After all, we were supposed to be taking it slow anyway. I had been either leaving school with Frank or by myself all week. Today was now Thursday, thankfully. I wish it were Friday, but at least we were one step closer to the weekend.

I didn't know why Gerard would be mad at me, but it seemed like he was. I didn't want to push my luck by asking him.

Right now I was in art class. I was telling Pete a few stories about Gerard and I, and we were laughing about it. I didn't tell him much. Just about the dorky things we've done together. Definitely nothing sexual was mentioned.

I was glad Pete knew about Gerard, because now there was no pressure to date. I knew he only saw me as a friend.

The bell rang just like always, but today I lagged behind. I had finally gotten up the nerve to speak to Gerard. I sat on his desk just like I always did.

"Shouldn't you be with Pete?" he said, then he rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Oh, I just thought you'd rather flirt with your ex than spend time with your real boyfriend," he scoffed.

"I wasn't flirting with him!" I protested.

"Oh, really? You could've fucking fooled me!"

Now it was my turn to roll me eyes. "Do you really think I'd flirt with him? Do you not remember that I broke up with him for you?"

"But you had feelings for him then, who's to say you don't have feelings for him now?"

"Would you just fucking listen to me? I told you, I don't want him, I want you. Why the fuck would I lie to you about that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know why you'd lie."

"Are you seriously accusing me of lying about this? Do you think I'm fucking cheating on you?"

He shrugged once again. "You're doing an awful lot of flirting for being 'just friends.' Maybe there's something going on I don't know about."

"Are you really accusing me of cheating on you?"

"I'm not saying you're cheating, I'm just saying you still have fucking feelings for him!" he yelled

"You're one to talk! I think you're forgetting you're the one who cheated on me! You don't see me getting all paranoid when you talk to other students, but maybe I should, because you seem to just love fucking students!" I said. I tried to act tough, but I started crying midway through this sentence. Part of the reason I was crying was because I was hurt that he'd think I was cheating, and part of it was because I knew I shouldn't have said that, and I was scared. I knew he'd never hurt me, but I still don't like when he yells at me.

"Get out," he said as he pointed to his classroom door.

"Gerard, I-I," I tried to apologize.

"I said get out! Just go!" he spat. Another tear left my eye, but I nodded. Then I hopped off of his desk, and left the classroom without another word to him. I left the school and began to walk home. Frank had already left with Jamia, Gerard wouldn't give me a ride home, and Pete was long gone, so I'd have to walk home alone. I adjusted the strap of my messenger bag on my shoulder and began my walk. I cried almost the entire time. How did I already manage to fuck things up with Gerard?

To top it all off, it was really fucking hot outside, and I had to walk all the way home.

Gerard's car passed me, because he was obviously going home now. I looked at the ground and tried to pretend I didn't see him. I hoped he wouldn't notice me, but how many girls with pink hair wearing all black in ninety degree weather are there? Of course he'd notice me.

He stopped the car and rolled down the window. "Sky, c'mon. Get in the car. I'll take you home," he offered.

"You told me to go away, so I am," I scoffed.

He rolled his eyes. "There's no way I'm letting you walk home. It's like ninety degrees out there."

"Just leave me alone. I'm perfectly capable of walking home alone."

"Stop being stubborn. I'm a twenty-six year old man in a car, approaching an eighteen year old girl on the street, and begging her to get into the car. Do you even know how creepy this looks? I'm surprised nobody's called the police yet. Can you please just get into the car before they haul my ass in for kidnapping?"

I groaned, but I finally got into the passenger seat of his car. I stayed silent the entire way home. I just stared out the car window to distract me from the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you today," he said, finally breaking the silence.

"It's okay."

"No it's not. I know you don't like it when I yell. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared. It's okay, really. I'm sorry I brought up what happened in the past."

"I g-guess I was just hurt that you brought that up, but it's something that did happen, and I guess it's good to address that. You were right. I shouldn't have accused you, especially not when I'm the only one who's done that before. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Gerard. I understand why you were mad. I'm sorry I was being so nice to Pete," I sighed.

Gerard was pretty silent after that. I guess I don't blame him for being sort of mad. I wish he'd understand that I'm just trying to be Pete's friend. I really do not have feelings for Pete.

We pulled up to the apartment, and I started to leave the car, but Gerard grabbed my arm. He made a cute kissy face at me. "Don't I get a goodbye kiss?" he whined.

I giggled. How could I say no to him when he's being this cute? I gave his lips a quick peck, then I told him goodbye and went up to my apartment.

I still don't feel that bad about what he said. If he's going to accuse me of cheating, he needs to remember that he's the only one who'd do that.