The Best of Us - After the Death Cure

Chapter Eleven

Thomas

His mind felt as if it were going to explode.

It had taken months for his heart to learn to beat again, for his mouth to be able to smile like it used to. He never wanted to go back to the life that he had once lived. It was only his future that mattered to him now. His happiness, and the peace that he knew his lost friends would want him to feel.

But in one day, any hope at a new beginning he had was lost to the wind.

Two names stung in his mind, pounding against the walls of his brain like a jackhammer against concrete. He tried to move away from them, but he knew it was futile, he would never forget again.

Two boys, ripped away from their families, their parents, their sisters, their lives. All to play some sick game that a higher authority thought would one day save the world.

But they were wrong. Nothing was saved, only lives lost and hearts broken. And Thomas was responsible.

He had spent his afternoon holding one of those boy's sisters as she mourned the brother she hadn't even remembered she had. He wiped the tears that fell from her soft eyes, telling her over and over again how sorry he was. Because her brother was dead because of him.

And now, after he had tried to escape the girl's pain, he had walked himself straight into another.

His eyes studied the girl in front of him, Blair, a name he had just familiarized himself with only moments before. She looked sad, yet stiff, as if she were unsure how she should feel.

"Ben was your brother?" he finally asked her, wanting desperately for her to look back up at him, so that he could once again study her blue eyes.

She nodded at the ground, her blonde hair bouncing as she did. To his dismay, she didn't look up again.

"I never really knew him." she said, the blankness to her voice unnerving. "He left before I really could."

"What do you mean?" he whispered to her.

Her eyes shifted from the ground to a nearby log that sat on its side, an invitation for them to sit down.

"Our parents divorced when we were young" she said, moving to sit on the fallen tree. He stayed where he was. "My mom was mad at my dad, something about him made her scream. She said that it was his fault that Ben was sick."

Her voice faltered, and she had to stop talking to steady it. She took a deep breath, and continued.

"I don't ever remember my brother being ill." she said, rubbing her hands anxiously. "But my mom was adamant; Ben was sick and it was all my father's fault. It wasn't until this morning that I finally understand what she meant."

He looked for her to finish the story, wanting to know what it was that her mother knew.

"They had the flare." she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. He had to move closer to hear what she said next. "My father and Ben both had the flare."

His heart dropped in his chest at the memory of Ben. He remembered the pain in the boy's eyes as he pleaded for his life. But again, Thomas had Ben's blood on his hands.

"I was thirteen when they took us." Blair spoke again. He watched as she fiddled with a stick in her hands. "These people in white suits came into our house and dragged us downstairs. I remember screaming for my mom, but she wasn't there. I only heard Ben; he was calling my name, telling me to stay calm. I never saw him again."

Thomas looked at her sitting there, and under the canopy of the trees, she looked so small. He tried to push the memory of her, screaming for her family, left all alone, out of his mind. It was too much for him to handle.

"Where did they take you?" He asked, still keeping his distance.

"Where do you think?" She said, looking back up at him. "They took me to wicked. They ran tests, and then before I knew it I was being shoved in a cage, and life as I knew it was over."

Several leaves floated down from the trees above them, collecting on the already covered ground. It would have been beautiful if everything else in his world wasn't so messed up.

"I never saw him when we got to wicked, and I haven't seen him here." She spoke quietly, and he could hear the question in her voice.

He looked at her to finish, his arms folded across his chest.

"How did he die Thomas?" Blair asked him, "How did Ben die?"

His chest tightened with the question. How could he tell another one of his friends that he was responsible for their brother's death?

"Um, I'm not 100% sure." Thomas answered her. "Like you said, he had the flare. He was out in the maze when he got stung. The sting must have triggered the illness, because he got bad really fast. He didn't survive the night in the maze."

He watched her face as he answered her, looking for any form of reaction. The last thing he wanted was for her to be angry at him too.

After a long and eerie silence, Blair finally spoke.

"What was he like?" She asked him, wiping away tears that he hadn't noticed on her cheeks.

"I didn't know him very well." Thomas answered. "But if you want to know who your brother was, you need to talk to Minho. He was Ben's best friend."

"Really?" She asked him, her blue eyes red from the tears.

"Really." He smiled at her.

"I'm sorry to turn all of this towards me" she laughed, shaking her head as she went. "I followed you out here to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine Blair, thank you for worrying."

She smiled at him, standing up off the log and walking back towards him.

"Thanks for talking to me" she said, her eyes shimmering again in the afternoon sunlight. "You're a good guy Thomas. Don't ever forget that."