Spectrum (Frerard, Petekey)

25: hahahhaha fml emotional pain ahahahhahahahahhahaha

Mikey had gotten up ridiculously early in aid of this whole affair, and well the matter of escaping it in particular. But he honestly would rather die than face this all: the mess, the fallout, yet more yelling: something he reckoned he simply couldn't take anymore, like seriously, he'd endured enough yelling and arguments for an entire lifetime at thirteen.

This was the first time five am had felt worthwhile. And part of him hated that it had to be so; that it had to come to an extreme such as this to find himself appreciating early morning light and bird calls and the rest of the world whilst it was still asleep and a certain chill in the air: half light and not being sure whether it was worth turning the light on or not; the fridge light illuminating a small corner of the kitchen - last nights dishes still left out. The world seemed alone, but in reality it was just asleep.

He'd grabbed a cereal bar from the cupboard before pulling on a jacket and making his way out of the backdoor, taking a moment to admire the sunrise from his garden: a world peaceful devoid of light and noise, a world that didn't even seem real - something he felt deserved much more appreciation, but circumstantially, appreciation was simply something there wasn't time for.

Mikey hated that.

He'd found himself hating a great deal of things as of recent, and it wasn't the best of sensations, as hating was never something he'd found an appeal in. Hate had always been a strong word, and a largely unnecessary one at that: hate caused all the problems in the world to some degree, and Mikey, even at thirteen, found himself well aware of that, and stubborn when it came to striving away from it all.

He wanted to be the positive contribution; he wanted to make a change, no matter how small, but existent nevertheless. He wanted to be everything he couldn't be in his current circumstances, and still, found himself hurt and defensive whenever someone suggested change - especially now, fuck, right now more than ever, because his whole body seemed to ache all over with a lack of sleep and an excess of thought - physically seeming to weigh down on him, even.

It was indeed a thought he struggled to brush off as he made his way through the back gate and out onto his road.

Patrick had a habit of waking up earlier than Mikey - really, most people had a habit of waking up earlier than Mikey, but still, at half past five, he wasn't exactly happy to wake up to five texts from him, but still, it was Patrick, and he aimed to see the best in people, and down to what Mikey largely suspected to be entirely that, he agreed to let Mikey come over, before the sun had even properly come up, and let him talk away all his problems, or at least try to, because Mikey did try to be optimistic, but it was like he was just broken today or something.

That sounded entirely far too poetic for reality, though, and he brushed it off as he placed his cellphone back into his jeans pocket and continued to make his way down the road and towards Patrick's house.

Oddly, for easily the first time in his life, he found himself making a specific effort as to not encounter Pete Wentz, because as much as he cared for him, as much as he loved him, he didn't want to talk about this, not yet at least. Perhaps not ever, perhaps, he could just postpone it all and then maybe eventually it'd never happen, but... but it would. With the way Gee had looked, Mikey knew it would.

Gee called the shots, as much as she or anyone else might insist that she didn't and that it was down to them both, Mikey knew it all far too well, because she was older, and this mattered to her most of all. It wasn't entirely a trans thing, but it was definitely largely so; Gee really did need hormones and a proper environment where people accepted her for her, and she was not going to get that here. Hell, she might not have fully known it yet, but Mikey knew that Gee needed to move to California, and he knew that he cared about his sister more than anything, and that with time, it would happen and they would go, but right now he needed to freak out and run off at five in the morning and cry to a boy who was too nice to say no to him.