Be You. Fearlessly. (Imagine Dragons)

+I Was Me+

"Everything I touch turns to gold." No other person in this world can say that, well they can if they have had a gold selling album like us? I'm a compulsive songwriter sometimes I start sixty new songs a day...sometimes without breaks. My wife, Aja and I have been having more arguments-I think it's where I am always out and touring with the guys and coming home every other weekend. It's probably the stress of looking after our daughter, Arrow? Or she just is a beautiful person and worries about me too much? I don't really knows what goes in her flawless mind...I wish I do. Since at one stage in our relationship we were soul mates destined to be there for each other rain or shine, but even then and still since holds lot's of secrets? I used to think this is normal, but now...Normal isn't the word.

Aja tells me in every argument she dreams that, Nico Vega, which is her band could still be up and running instead long gaps between songs-I don't really see how that is my problem because I always try to support my wife. Sometimes arguments are the only time we talk to each other. I really don't blame her since Nico Vega were quite big over here in Vegas tho. I think if it wasn't for our effortlessly perfect daughter, Arrow, we would of been divorced ages ago.

Now look where I'm now! My brother's and father's lawyer firm 'Reynold's & Associates' signing divorce papers to Aja. I have custody of Arrow five days of the week, Aja has been good to me that way. At least I'm not one of those weekend dad's...Aja has Arrow on weekends and I have her week day's, so if Aja will ever talk to me again I want to thank her...she knows Arrow is my all. "Dan-you have got burned pretty bad, man. How did she chuck you out?" I look at my brother, Mac, he basically manages Imagine Dragons, Imagine Dragons being my band.

"Mathew." Ronald, my dad, snaps at Mac as he looks at me secretly laughing. Really, man I thought Ben was childish but this is just stupid-I've just lost my life partner and he is being an idiot over it? I look out of the window, I see so many awesome things, then I stop when I see one of my brothers walking with his wife and my niece. They look so happy together, last time I went out for a stroll with Aja and Arrow a few months ago, it wasn't romantic literally a walk to the park and back. 

I sigh heavily burying my hand on my face, so my soft skin touches the fragile skin of my lips, the cold touch of the wedding ring also pressed against my lips. "So how did she chuck you out then?"oh seriously is that meant to make me feel better?

"I choose to walk away." That's they nod there heads, I choose to walk away and give my apartment to Aja and Arrow since that is the least I can do for Aja.

There is a slight moment's pause, "why didn't you come to church, son." In my head all I keep repeating to myself is: 'all this noise has made me lose my belief' which is true. It's not...my religion and what I believe in is-it's awkward to describe I was raised in a Mormon family. But I support anyone, I think I brought myself up to love everyone of all colour, of all religion and sexuality.

"I don't think God can sort this shit out." My father looks at me with disappointment in his eyes. That hurts. But how can I tell him...I'm not his really religious son anymore. I think why he is disappointed is that...basically I cursed as well as mentioning his beloved 'God' in the same sentence. This isn't me...this really isn't me. With this whole divorce it comes with stress, financial difficulties, agreements. If only he knew what it feels like for his heart to be ripped out...it just sucks.

"Dan. Sign here...and you're divorced-are you sure you want to sign this? Can't you and our Aja sort things out? Once you sign there is no going back." Doesn't he know that I know there is no going back? This isn't my choice, it's Aja's and being a respectable person I want her to have all the happiness. 

I shrug and sign the papers quickly. "Man, you're not thinking." My other brother, Harrison says as he walks to the water cooler next to me.

"Why are all three of you in my bloody office. And so inconsiderate towards your brother have you got no bloody shame? He's just got divorced!" Yeah. That's dad, totally need reminding-totally. 

Mac, Harrison and Rob look at me then the water machine next to me, in the corner of dad's office. "Yeah-I just got divorced...and you are in here after water?" Mac laughs nodding his head as he sits on the corner of dad's desk scrolling up and down on his iPhone. 

"It's the only water machine in this whole building that has cold water!" Oh my God. Not asking for attention here, because I love listening to people and giving out free advice...but on the other hand, it's cold water-people who love cold water, they need cold water so much they walk in there dad's office while there brother is getting divorced and get that water. 

"Shut up." Dad says.

Robert laughs to himself and whispers under his breath: "I am gonna make an official complaint!" Rob jokes as we all watch dad's face turn from symmetric to 'I wanna really kill you all' no one dare makes a complaint on Reynolds & Associates .

Mac laugh lightly as I feel that he is gonna say something  'Mac style' Mac style is something really stupid, selfish and perfect, and sometimes mildly entertaining-or offencive. "Can I have your ring? Wait-no it's cursed?!" Fuck him.