Potter

Chapter 40

“We don’t know what’s wrong with me. We probably won’t figure out in time to stop what ever it is, but I’ve come to terms with death. I’m fine, really.” He looked up at me with a weak smile, shrugging. I wasn’t entirely sure when my jaw dropped.

“How are you so casual about this?”

“I told you, I’ve come to terms with it.”

“You can believe that all you like- but I’m not. When were you going to tell me this? You’re dying? You can’t just give up- If anything, I won’t let you. How would- Oh” I paused, stopping my rambling just for a moment to gather my thoughts together. “You weren’t going to tell me, were you?”

He didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed. Instead, he met my gaze with a cold expression, giving a sharp nod. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Why not?”

“To avoid having this conversation- You’re being unreasonable. There’s no fixing this- me. I’m done for. I was hoping to avoid this conversation so we at least could have ended on good terms.”

“Who says we’re going to end? And even then, on bad terms?” I frowned, watching him carefully and feeling a lot more wary now.

“Because there is no way you, and all your insufferable stubbornness is going to let me die in peace.” He remarked, shaking his head. “None at all.”

“Well there’s got to be a way-”

“Will you listen to me!” He said sharply, and I stopped, taken aback. He’d never risen his voice towards me before. “There is no way to fix this. I’m over- we’re over, so you might as well leave and spare yourself, as well as me. I don’t want you to watch me die.” 

“Draco..” I said quietly. I felt like someone had dumped cold water on me. Not wanting to make him snap again, I hesitantly moved forward until I was sitting next to him on the bed. We sat in silence for a moment, the tension in the air thick enough that you could probably cut it with a butter knife.

Wiping his hands on his pants, he reached over and carefully took one of my hand. I could feel the stickiness of the blood on his palms, and inwardly I cringed. He seemed to notice my expression change, because a wry smile appeared on his face and he let go, wiping his palms off on his pants.

“You should leave.”

“How long do you have?” I asked quietly, and he shrugged, staring down at the floor.

“Anywhere from a day to month. We’re not quite sure.”

“So why can’t I stay with you till then?”

“Because I don’t want you here- I told you. I don’t want you to watch me die.”

“So you’re just going to kick me out?”

He looked apologetic, but nodded. I shook my head slowly, not in protest, just in shock. Draco was missing. He was alive. Now he is dying.

“So this is it?”

“I suppose so.” He said quietly. Leaning over, he let his head rest on my shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t- you don’t need to apologize. Really.” I murmured quietly, letting my fingers run lightly through his hair. I could feel him smile through the fabric of my shirt.

“Maybe so, but it alleviates some of the guilt.” 

I laughed weakly, hanging my head. I could feel him press his lips to my shoulder, one of his hands moving to wrap around his waist.