Cross My Heart

Chapter 18

He got on the bus first, which was good, because I was almost afraid of him tricking me to get on, then the driver closing the door, and me being trapped in it, as she drove away.
He sat in the very back seat, and he put his hand out for me, as I stood there at the front, taking a deep breath.
I slowly walked to him, and sat next to him in the seat.
He put his arm around me and pulled me in close to him right away. He rested his chin on my head after giving my hair a quick kiss.
I felt safe now.
I felt safe for the entire ride. Gavin didn't let go of me once.
I looked around as we went, but I didn't really see anything. I was too scared to take it all in.

A while later, we pulled into a long driveway. Flashes of pulling into a driveway 10 years ago went through my head. My breathing picked up a bit as I looked around at the property.
It was nice. It was a big white house, with colorful flowers along the front. A big porch went all the way across the front, and side, and might have even continued in the back. I couldn't see that far.
Lots of windows with maroon shutters made it seem open and airy.
There were woods behind and around the sides of the house at the edge of the yard that surrounded the entire house. Some big giant rocks were scattered here and there throughout the yard. There was a small ramp up to the porch, next to the front steps. On the porch were a bunch of chairs lined up along the front wall of the house. On the front door, hung a "Home Sweet Home" sign.
I sat starting at it all, taking it all in, and then I remembered Gavin was here, and I was probably supposed to be getting off the bus right now.
I looked at Gavin, and he was already looking at me, a grin on his face. "Do you like it?" he asked.
"It's pretty. I like the flowers. And the big rocks. And the trees....." I responded, trying to seem happy. Even though I was sort of  happy...I was still so fucking nervous.
I looked towards the front of the bus, and the driver was sitting sideways in her seat, looking at us quietly. "Whenever you're ready Gwen. I won't rush you", she said when I my eyes met hers.
"Thank you", I answered, looking at the floor.

I might as well just do this. Gavin's with me, anyway, so.....I didn't wanna hold everyone up.
I stood up, and Gavin stood up behind me, as I started walking up the isle.
"I'm Miriam. You can call me Meem if you want. Everyone else does", the driver of the bus said and laughed. She stood back to let me through, but held out her hand to mine. I looked down at it, not knowing what to do. "It's nice to meet you Meem" Gavin said, taking her hand and shaking it three times, then looking at me, still smiling from talking to Meem.
I looked from him to her, to her hand. I held out my own hand, and tried to do what Gavin had done. I remembered doing this when I was a kid. I had forgotten it, though.
"Nice to meet you Meem, I'm Gwen", I said shakily and gave her the best smile I could, then looking up to Gavin next to me, to see how I did. I felt like a child. But in a way, I still was one. In other ways, I wasn't even CLOSE to a child. 
"Great to meet you Gwen! Would you like to see your room now?" she asked as I let go of her hand.
"Sure, thank you", I said.

I continued off the bus, Gavin very close behind me, followed by Meem.
She got in front of us and led us up the stone path to the door.
I couldn't help but keep looking around everywhere at the gloriously beautiful trees and rocks and grass and the sky poking through the tree tops, the birds chirping everywhere, even though I couldn't see them anywhere...it was like a dream. It was beautiful, really. And I felt the sun on my face for the first time since the second before I stepped into that car, 10 years ago. I didn't want to go inside. I wanted to stay outside. I'd been inside for 10 years. But I knew I had to. Maybe I'd be allowed to come outside later...
I could feel Gavin's eyes following my face and I knew he was happy that I was liking what I saw.

We walked in and down a short hall, filled with hooks with jackets and sweatshirts, and a few pairs of shoes and various brightly colored flip flops were on the floor beneath them. Past that was a large room on the left with a very wide doorway. We all took two steps into the room, and I saw something move across the room. I looked quickly, my heart skipping a quick beat, and there stood all the rest of the girls from the restaurant! There they ALL were! They were all standing there together, with big smiles on their faces! I'd never seen them smile, and they looked completely different! Almost unrecognizable, with different styles and different colored clothes, and their hair down and up and whichever way they felt like having it, and they were even...fatter! They looked GREAT! They didn't have gray eyes anymore. Their skin didn't look gray and sunken in. They looked....healthy. And glowing! It was AMAZING how diffrerent...how much BETTER they looked!