Fixing The Broken One | BroCon

VIII. Winter-Like Eyes

"I'm sorry."

She let out a strangled cry in response, burying herself deeper into his shirt as her cries got worse. She wanted to bury herself impossibly deep inside of him, to never lose his touch, his caress, and him in the end. The cold wind slither into their skin, Sakuya pulled her closer and she didn't pull back. They were trying to find the warmth they never had. They were always trying to.

"Rin, I love you."

His words seemed vivid compared to the raging storm inside of her. Like a spell or a charm, it managed to calm the hurricane whirling inside her chest for a mere moment. Rin looked up with eyes wet with tears to his dry still ones. He gave her a tight smile, caressing the back of her head and the other grasping her cold hands into his warm ones. Her eyes of lenses captured the moment and with tears falling freely from her eyes, she gingerly shifted her hands to his cheeks -- and she was cold because he was supposed to be her warmth.

"Sakuya, I do not see love in your eyes." She mumbled quiet but enough so he could hear it, "But, I want to be selfish for once and to keep everything of yours next to me, even if I took away your happiness -- I want you to stay."

"Rin--"

"Please, please, I'm sorry but I need you." She cried, "I want you to stay, please stay, don't leave me please, don't--"

"I won't." Haruki gave her a firm reply, "That was stupid of me."

"No! I don't want you to blame yourself," Rin shook her head, "you didn't want to stay yet I forced you to -- is the reality you should accept."

"Let me be your reason to stay, even if all would just be an illusion of our distorted minds."

He pulled her closer as the tears that slipped down his cheeks disappeared into nothing.

***

"By learning his beauty, I also learned his flaws. He was someone that is torn into being a good person and to live the way life wants him to live. He was a cold soul inside a bright star and an imperfect mask of glass you could shatter."

I want to understand him and by time, I understood him. I thought I understood him.

And I thought I was enough to be his reason to stay and to rebel against the demons he had inside his mind. I thought I was enough yet it turned out I wasn't enough. I had never been enough and it was all just an illusion I played to keep myself from falling deeper.

Everything was just a fabricated reality and it was my fault. I made him suffer so much because of my selfishness and desperate needs. I was lost and I thought he could find me -- but he was lost himself. And two people who were lost won't ever be able to find themselves.

I loved him, I thought I loved him. He loved me, or at least he once lied that he loved me too.

Somewhere deep inside of me hollered that it wasn't love."

***

A scene flashed on the back of her mind. The day was washed with grey, just like how the other day did. She was clad in black and she could only see black. Her vision remained unclear and her eyes remained dull like the day he decided to leave her behind. She shifted her gaze to a woman bawling her eyes out near the coffin with a girl who was bringing bright flowers to bathe him in.