Give Me A Second Chance

Cold feet

Dedicated to username_wp for being the first one to show any interest in ny story. Thank you so much. Sometimes when I think of quitting... I continue... Cos I think I owe it to you :)

Hope you enjoy this chapter :)

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I went back to that diner the next day... And the next... And the day after that... And every day since then for a long long time. It didn't matter to me that I had to drive two hours to get there and then two hours back. It didn't matter that now I was spending a whole lot more money on gas. Nothing mattered. I was willing to give up anything for just one more second with her.

Everything about her just drew me in. Her beautiful blond curly locks that cascaded down her shoulders like waterfall. Her eyes that just had this sparkle about them. Her eyes were so expressive, it reflected her feelings. Sometimes she would look into my eyes and I would feel like she could see right through me, like she knew what I was feeling, like she was looking at my soul. When she would smile, her eyes lit up even more and I would just feel like I could get lost in them. Her eyes were like the stars shining bright in the night sky - you could stare at them all night long and still look forward to seeing them again the best night.

She wasn't just beautiful outside. She was beautiful inside. She was just an amazing person. She volunteered on her weekends at an orphanage called ' Holy Angels'. Her folks were well off but she insisted to work at the diner to help the orphanage. She never wanted to take her family's money to help them because she felt that it wouldn't be the same. She wanted to help them with her own hard earned money. Because only then she would feel like SHE had done something for them.

Every day I would go there and she would wait on me. She had work but she always found time to talk to me. We talked about a lot of things, our hobbies, interests, favourite movies, music, pet peeves, dreams, wishes, almost everything under the sun. I never got tired of talking to her. I always stayed till the diner closed, so that I could drop her back home. I woke up every morning looking forward to seeing her again. When it came to her I was counting seconds- seconds to see her again, seconds to when I make her smile again, seconds to when she would flash that special smile of hers at me. I was falling for this woman. Falling hard. In fact, I think I have been in love with her since the first minute I laid eyes on her. I have never been a big believer of ' love at first sight. I mean how could you love someone you don't know but when I saw Rach that day in her black jeans and an apron over her red tank top, I knew. I knew that she was my girl and I would do anything to make her happy. I just wanted her to be mine and be mine only. I knew she was interested in me. We used to shamelessly flirt with each other. Truthfully, most times she did the flirting and I acted like a little girl and blushed. I was getting better though. I was really comfortable around her but I also was inclined to be nervous around her. I was always waiting for her to realize that she was being silly spending time with me. I mean, more than a month and I hadn't even asked her out.

I just had to ask her for a date. But I was just too nervous. Deep down I knew she would agree but I was still scared. Everyday I went there telling myself that I would ask her that day but I never did. It took me a month and a half to finally ask her out. 50 days to be exact.

It was yet another day at the diner. As always, before entering I had given myself a pep talk to finally do this. The day went as usual. Every time I opened my mouth to blurt out the question, I just panicked and didn't ask her. Finally, as usual after closing the diner, we walked together towards my car in this agonizing silence. Just say it. Will you go out with me. No. Umm... I want to ask you out. Oh god! So... Will you go for dinner with me?? I sighed inwardly as I resisted the urge to face palm myself. Oh just say something. Anything. " You like to eat?" Wow! Great going buddy. Why don't you just kill me already? I refused to look at her face. I could fee her eyes on me and I knew she was looking at me amused. " Yes John. I like to eat" ,she replied. Without even looking at her i knew she was trying hard not to laugh.

I sighed. I took a deep breath. I am anyway half way through the pool, might as well swim the whole way. Yes. My mind works in weird ways. I took a deep breath in. I could feel the panic and anxiety set in. So before I could back out like the coward I was acting like, I finally did it, " So will you do that with me. I mean, eat. I mean, will you have dinner with me? " Please. I looked at her, waiting for her to reject me. As much as I knew that she was interested in me, her next words still managed to surprise me.

" Finally! Yes! Yes I would love to have dinner with you. How does Friday sound?"

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1 hour 15 minutes 27 seconds. That is how long I stood there. Everytime I brought myself to move I just panicked. I don't know. I was so scared. Scared to my very bone. At the same time, I was so excited. Excited like a girl who just got asked to prom by the guy of her dreams. Well, I was in a very similar position I guess. No prom involved though. I sighed. I was really acting like an idiot. I kept telling myself that I should just grow a pair and do it. Do it before something went wrong. As if something could have actually gone more wrong me acting like a spastic person with neurotic disorder raising his hand every two minutes and lowering it while talking to himself and then banging his head on the wall. I attracted quite a lot of attention that day. People kept giving me "the looks". I know what they should have thought. 'Maybe he is crazy?' I really couldn't have agreed more. Who in their right mind would think that I would be able to pull this off?

I guess it was a good thing I had decided to turn up a little early that day. I was so nervous. My heart was beating rapidly almost threatening to just break out of my body. My palms were all sweaty and clammy. One of my palms was clenched tightly into a fist to my side so as to try and stop it from shaking while the other was suspended in mid air as I stared ahead, forcing and willing my hand to move and just press the damn thing. I moved my raised hand closer to the button and my heart just stopped. My breath got caught in my throat and my knees threatened to give out. I was a mess. I always wondered what people experiencing cold feet really felt and then, I was pretty sure what i was experiencing should have pretty much been it. I was going to die out of a heart failure any second now. I should have prepared my will the day I laid eyes on her- the first time she took my breath away. I should have realized that it really wouldn't be the last time. Now, there I was one and a half months later standing below her apartment, dating my hand to press the button so she could buzz me in. Finally, calling on to all the Gods that made the earth and the universe and is responsible for holding it together, I finally did it. I pressed the damn button.

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" Dinner is ready, John", said Rach, forcing me to break away from my thoughts. As I thought of the past, how I had been, I realized that Rach had always been by side, patiently waiting for me. She knew that day I wanted to ask her out. She could have easily just asked me out instead of having to wait impatiently but she waited. She waited because she probably realized that I wanted to take that first step or maybe because she believed that I would do it even when i didn't think I could. That thought just had my mind spinning. She always thought the best of me even when i thought the worst of me and now if she had to actually be unhappy in our marriage... Unhappy with me... I must have been acting like scum... Even worse. That thought had my heart tighten. I felt like my soul was just being sucked out. The thought that I... The man who promised to love her and cherish her and treat her right...till death...was the one who caused her pain, who neglected her made me mad. How could i have been so blind? How did I go on pretending like it was all fine? So, I decided it was time i took the first step.

" Rach, Will you go on a date with me? " please.

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