Sherlock x Reader one shots

For Jessica

"You still sound to Australian" said Sherlock who had not moved or even opened his eyes at all.

"Well I have an Australia accent what do you expect!" I said.

I'm going to need to try harder if I really want to annoy him.

"Hmf" I sighed and walked back into the hallway still in Sherlock's coat and scarf. I noticed the door to John's room was open so I peaked my head in.

John was carefully folding his jumpers on his bed. He turned his head to face me when I appeared in the doorway. "Oh hey Jess-" he began to say but I quickly covered his mouth. "Be very very quiet, I'm hunting Sherlocks." I said. John struggled against my tight grip. "John the game is afoot, we need the ultimate idea for annoy Sherlock day." I said. John mumbled something. "SPEAK UP WATSON!" I yelled! Me mumbled something louder this time but I still couldn't tell what he was trying to say.

Wait is my hand still on his mouth

Oh right

Whoops

"Oh sorry forgot about that" I said. I then released John from my grip. He stumbled away from me. "Thanks" he said sarcastically. "Now then Watson, what were you going to say?" I said. "First," he said "Happy Birthday. Second, please take your hand off of my mouth." "Oh," I said "First, thank you. Second, I thought you had a real idea. This is serious John we need something that will really annoy him."

Together we stood for a minute thinking to ourselves.

"Well two years ago we his his cigarettes and nicotine patches which made him go crazy all day" I said giggling. "And last year Mycroft got us that surround sound stereo and we played nothing but Nyan Cat for 12 hours." Said John smirking. I laughed at the memory. "We're going to need something really good this year to be able to top that" I said. "We could play nothing but the troll song." John suggested. "No that's basically a repeat of last year." I said.

Hmmm

Hair dye in his shampoo?

No he'd figure that out as soon as he stepped in the shower

Oh! I could throw a huge party and make him be super social, that would really annoy him. The party would just be super last minute and a lot of people probably wouldn't be able to make it.

Uhg coming up with good ideas is so hard...

I began to nervously trace my pixel tattoos as I thought

Wait...

No I shouldn't

That's such an awful thing to do

Oh yes I should

"John" I said smirking "Would you mind taking Sherlock out for a couple of hours?" "What why? You shouldn't be alone on your birthday Jess." Said John. "I know, I won't be. Plus I have something big planned." I said.

John then walked out of the room. "Sherlock" I heard him call "We're going out, now."

Within 5 minutes I heard them leave.

I quickly whipped out my phone, scrolling through my contacts I click on one name in particular. "Yeah hey Donovan," I said "could you be over here in 5? Yes and bring a lot of paper and ink. And help if you can get any. Thanks so much!"

Done, now to get the plan in motion.

God I am so mischievous

I knew I had to do something really spectacular this year for annoy Sherlock day, so what better than to completely cover his bedroom walls...