The Separation [ON HOLD]

Chapter One

Afeefa sat at the Obstetrician's, lost in thoughts. It was going to be a long wait. Not that she minded, though. Unlike her previous visits when she would look longingly at the pregnant women out there, now she too was pregnant. Alhamdulillah. She hadn't started to show yet, just four months along now-- but in no time, she would  also have a big belly, to let the world know of her joy and pride that she was going to be a mother, at last. She smiled to herself at a distant memory.

"You know Junaid, right? Khadeeja's youngest son. His wife is my sister in law's second cousin's daughter," said an elderly woman to another. They were at a wedding and as usual in Malabari weddings, a lot of women had gathered in a room to talk and gossip.

"Afeefa... She's a nice girl. So sad that she can't have kids," said another woman who wore more jewellery than the bride herself.

"Afeefa? Asma's daughter? How long has she been married?" asked yet another one of the group.

"I think it was three years ago. Rifana's marriage was also in the same week and she has two kids now. I heard Afeefa is under treatment now," replied the second.

"May Allah grant them the best soon. I felt so sad when I saw the two of them playing with Rifana's baby yesterday. Both love children so much."

She was there on the other side of the door when she heard Junaid's and her name being mentioned. Although she knew that they only wished well for her, she was still hurt at the fact that they were discussing her problem amongst them, without even bothering to keep their voices low. They didn't pause to think how it will affect her if she happens to hear them. What hurt her the most was the fact that they were comparing her to another. Isn't it Allah who gives as He likes? Then why did people have to talk about when and how much He gave to whom? She was so angry and hurt that day that she had even asked Junaid to divorce her and marry someone else, someone who could bear his children. Junaid had been very patient, reassuring her that what is written by Allah is better for them than what they wanted for themselves.

Though it had haunted her back then, it didn't hurt anymore. She could remember it without pain now. Because now, she was happy. Now, she believed with all her heart that Allah's plans for her will always be better than her dreams.

There had been times when she feared that she'll never ever get to experience motherhood even when she was assured that people with polycystic ovaries can conceive. She had so many doubts and fears. She couldn't bear the thought of Junaid and herself spending the years to come having only each other and having to die feeling her life on earth incomplete. She used to hate the plain walls of her house which, she thought, would never be scribbled on by tiny hands. She lacked true Tawakkul, and in her despair, forgot that her Rabb is Al Wakeel, The Ultimate Trustee, The Disposer of Affairs. It took some time for her to realize that and it was only after the realization came that she started asking Allah with all her heart and He accepted her du'a.

"Afeefa Ahmed?"

She was startled from her thoughts by the sound of the nurse calling her name. Junaid quickly nudged her and stood up beside her.

"This way, please." The nurse pointed to the door after handing her the medical file. Afeefa was a bit nervous as she entered the room as she was informed that there's an injection at four months.

"Hello Afeefa." Greeted the doctor, a kind-faced lady with her hair tied back in a ponytail.
"So your first ultrasound was done last month and the next one is after two months," the doctor said as she went through the files, "now we'll proceed with your regular monthly checkup and then you have to get your Tetanus injection."

Afeefa nodded nervously.

"Lie down here," the doctor smiled and gestured towards the examining table.