I'm On My Knees-Namjin (boyxboy)

I Was Born Sick

I can't bear it anymore.
I just can't.
Day after day, Jungkook comes to my house with his laptop and magazines, trying to 'prepare me for adult things'
The thing is, none of the naked women arouse me. I think they're a bit gross and totally unappealing. What does Jungkook see in them? Why does he get boners every time he watches those videos and looks at his dirty playboy magazines?
He always asks me if I have an erectile disfunction.
I know that isn't true, because every time that little shit class president does so much as unbutton his uniform or runs his fingers through his hair, I instantly get hard.
I'm gay and in love with class-motherfucking-president Seokjin.
Of course, I know if I told Jungkook that, he'd call me a faggot and get all grossed out.
He already gets this disgusted, uncomfortable look whenever he sees the two pairs of lovebirds in our class making out or hugging or doing anything couple-y in public.
Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok are hated by him and he even knows I'm friends with all four of them.
Honestly, if he stopped hanging out with me it'd make me so happy, but I can't do that to him. Even if he's homophobic and hates my close friends, he's been around me since we were little and if I suddenly started drifting away from him he'd get suspicious or hurt.
The only thing to do is drop subtle hints that he's being rude.

A while after thinking this, Jungkook drove up to my house and got out of his car, carrying a bag of more mags that I, as usual, had no interest in looking at.
Unlike usual, when he got to my room he didn't break out his laptop instantly. He instead sat down on my bed and began talking shit about Taehyung and Hoseok.
"Ugh, I can't BELIEVE those two! On my way here, I saw them sitting on a park bench kissing and holding hands and giggling like little girls. I hate those fags so much!"
Normally, I would have just laughed this off and tried to change the subject, but I decided it was time to stand up a little bit for my friends.
"Hey, they aren't doing anything wrong."
He looked at me in disbelief and shock.
"Are you seriously standing up for those two faggots? Do you even know how disgusting that is?"
This made me a bit angry, and it was becoming harder and harder for me to hold back now.
"They're far less disgusting than all these women you've been trying to get me to look at!" I shouted, but when I realized what I had said, it was too late.
"Ugh, I knew it! That's why you can't get hard whenever I come over! You're one of those gay bastards too! That also explains your, by the way super noticeable, erections in the middle of class, and why you stare at that one little shit, Seokjin so much. You're in love with the fucking class president, you fag!"
Calling me a fag was where I draw the line.
"Are you seriously doing this right now? Judging me just because of who I love? Saying I'm disgusting just because I'm in love with another guy? It's not affecting you, so why do you care?!"
Jungkook took a moment to calm down, his face going from red back to pale white and relaxing his clenched fists.
"I-I'm sorry... We've been friends for so long. It's hard to process... I think I should go home."
I nodded in reply.
"It'd be for the best."
He packed up his stuff and left, driving down the road until his car lights were out of sight.
I flopped down on my bed, sighing and rolling over.
Hey, at least he didn't say we'd stop being friends.
He could have, but he didn't. He calmed down.
He might accept me because we've been friends for so long.
These tiny sparks of hope kept me happy, and I drifted off to sleep.