Her Eighth Step

Chapter Eight: Will You Marry Me?

As I drive Ryder to his house, we sit in silence. I don’t think it’s because we have nothing to say; it’s because we’re both thinking. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but I’m thinking Step One Accomplished Why Am I Such A Master At This I Should Win An Award. I’m also thinking…am I making a mistake?

            “Turn here,” he says, pointing to the right. I make a sharp right turn and immediately note that this can’t be his neighborhood.

            “Where are you taking me?” I ask, because I know with Ryder, everything must be analyzed. He’ll never say anything straightaway until you bug him. I look over and get distracted with the way he’s got his arm leaning against the car door, how he looks forward with such confidence. I wonder if my face leaks of confidence, too.

            “I want to show you something,” he replies.

            “Wow, that’s not vague at all,” I mutter sarcastically, turning left at his request. “Seriously, Ryder, I don’t know about this…”

            “You don’t even know where I’m taking you.”

            I look around at the dump outside, the abandoned houses, the dogs in the street, and I really don’t care to know where he’s taking me. I want to tell him please, please, please don’t get me killed, but I know he’ll just shoot me that look that says, Really. Would I do that?

            “Here,” he says, and I end up parking in an empty parking lot. We sit in silence for a moment. God, I think, I’m in trouble, aren’t I? But then Ryder gets out of the car and motions me out, too. “Come on,” he says, leaning down to look at me. When he notices the pained expression on my face, he looks away and smiles. “I’m not going to kill you, rape you, or bury you under this parking lot.”

            “Wow, that makes me feel better,” I murmur. “Stop smiling, then.”

            He stops smiling. For a second. Then he starts laughing. “Come on. Aren’t you freaking Dawn Myers. What are you scared for?”

            “You’re damn right,” I announce, stepping out of the car with the keys strapped to my hand. If I see trouble, RUN. We shut the doors of the car and Ryder just stands before the hood of the car, facing a brown building.

            With his head, he motions me over and I walk towards him. “Okay,” he says. “Stand…here…no, here…” He directs me by gripping my shoulders, and all I can think of is how gentle he is. He makes me step to the side and then forward. “Alright. You see it?”

            At first, I don’t understand what I’m looking at. And then I see the wall of the brown building is painted with graffiti and a mixture of colors. I squint, trying to make out the shapes. There are words woven into the art piece. “What does it say?” I ask.

            “Will you marry me?”

            I stop. Look at Ryder. Stare. “What?”

            He tips his head back and laughs. “I’m not actually asking you, Dawn. I’m telling you what it says.” He points to the words on the wall. “Will. You. Marry. Me.” With his finger he traces the letters from afar. He crosses his arms and sits on the hood of my car.

            “Okay…” I say, my voice trailing off.

            Ryder rolls his eyes with a hint of a smile. “Who in the whole world loves graffiti?”

            “I do?” I ask, hoping this is the right answer.

            Wrong. “No,” Ryder replies, his voice sarcastically flat. “Think again.”

            I think. Hmm…graffiti, graffiti, graffiti…who had been just talking about graffiti and someone who loves graffiti? Well, he or she must be kind of a troublemaker, right? Graffiti…light bulb!

            My mouth drops. “Gavin,” I gasp.

            Ryder nods, lost in thought. “And who do you think he was asking?”

            I swallow. Macey. For a second, I’m about to cry. But then I remember that crying in front of Ryder would be the easiest thing in the world, and that’s why I shouldn’t do it. I bite down on my lip instead and whisper, “She never told me. She never tells me anything.”

            “The bar your sister was talking about,” Ryder says. I turn to look at him. His eyes have softened towards me now, and I’m about to melt into them.

            “The bar?”

            “Yeah, your sister is taking you to a bar?”

            I nod. “Right.”

            “Gavin’s going to be there.”

            I stare at him, letting this process. “So you think Macey is going there for him?”

            He points at me. He points a lot. “Exactly.”

            I clasp my hands together and turn my head to stare at the wall longer. “She never said yes, did she?”

            Ryder took a long time to respond. “She was going to.”

            I feel like there’s a lot he isn’t telling me. I feel like I’m the only one in the world who doesn’t have a clue about my sister and her relationship with Gavin. For some reason, it’s killing me inside. Maybe the fact is if Macey had included me in her life a little bit more, I wouldn’t hate her so much…I wouldn’t hate her at all. It’s the fact that she kept me out of her little box that I don’t, and will never, understand her.

            “What’s the plan, then?” I ask.

            “The plan?” Ryder restates, pondering. “The plan is to be there because with my brother there, trouble is, too.”