No Place Like You

Chapter 2

"No. My mom made me choose. If I didn't leave by my own choice she would cut him off completely. She threatened me with so many ways of getting him out of my life, and some of them would ruin his. I couldn't do that to him. So I told him that this way we could make it. He didn't want me to go, he wouldn't listen. I left because I had to, and he didn't realize I still wanted us. After I was gone I called him every single day for three months. My roommate," she hoped Octavia didn't see her wince at the word, "told me to stop. She said he had obviously moved on, so I should too."

Last week when her life started falling apart she had tried to call him again. It had been the first time in two years she dialed that number. She had been hurting, the missing memories had started to blend with her other ones. She just wanted to hear someone's familiar voice, she wanted to hear his voice. She wanted him to tell her it would be okay. Hell she was so confused she probably would've told him everything then and there.

But he hadn't answered. She got the voicemail telling her he didn't want to speak to her. She didn't leave a message, she hung up before he could hear her fall apart on the other end of the phone. In a way she was glad he hadn't answered. Then again it had hurt like hell to know that he still hated her.

"I'm sorry," Octavia whispered, squeezing her hand gently, "I didn't know."

Clarke forced a smile, "I know. You're his sister and no matter what you'll take his side. I wish I had someone like that in my life. I wish I could go back and change it all. I would tell my mom to pound sand. I would tell her that making me choose was a sure way to lose me all together. But I can't change anything. As much as I wish I could, I'll never be able to change what happened."

Clarke knew she meant more than just changing what happened between her and Bellamy. Then again if she changed that single action, she wouldn't be in this position. She wouldn't be mending a broken heart, a broken life that was left behind by someone she had thought was her friend. In a way this was all her mother's fault, she had made her go to that school. She had forced her into that life.

Octavia sighed and hugged her again. Clarke felt better with someone beside her, "look, clearly there's unfinished baggage between you and my brother. But there's more hurting you. I can see it. I won't pry, it's not my place. But I will be the friend you obviously need. Even if you don't want me to be."

Clarke smiled a real smile as she looked at this girl who she never really knew. Sure Bellamy had told her stories. When their mom died he had taken over care for the younger girl. She had hung out with them a few times, but she never took the time to get to know her. She hated that it had taken this long for them to become friends.

She hated the reason why she needed someone like her, "I could use someone real," her voice was small, "thank you Octavia. You have no reason to be nice to me. Not after I left you with him and his broken heart. I know it wasn't easy."

"Yeah well believe it or not you and my brother are pretty alike. And I'm the only one who can get through to his stubborn ass," Clarke laughed at her choice of words. She knew the girl was right. Bellamy rarely listened to anyone but his little sister, "and if you feel like talking I'm here. I promise I'll listen. And if not, I'll try to take your mind off whatever it is."

Clarke nodded, letting Octavia put her arms around her. She was never an affectionate person. Even when Lexa tried she didn't really want a hug. But it felt nice to let someone else take care of her for once. She had always been the strong one, the one who did what she needed to do to make sure everyone else was taken care of. She had walked away from Bellamy so that he could still be in her life. She had taken the bullet for their relationship and she was tired of hurting from it all.