No Place Like You

Chapter 2

If she wasn't falling apart she would kick herself for looking like this. She hadn't seen Bellamy in two years and now he knew how much of a mess she was. You were supposed to make your ex jealous, not make their lives easier when you saw them again.

Clarke turned the water in, done straining her ears to hear what they were saying. She didn't care if Bellamy told his sister she was a basket case. Or if Octavia didn't want her to stay here. All she really wanted was this warm shower and a bed to sleep in. She would figure out the rest tomorrow.

Clarke wanted to drown out all the noise so she stepped under the water and let it wash away her pain. She rolled her shoulders and closed her eyes.  She had no idea how she was supposed to fix all the broken parts of herself. She didn't want to carry the burden anymore. She wasn't ready to force it upon someone else yet, either.

She turned off the water, and dried herself off. She had brought a pair of sweat pants into the bathroom with her and changed into the comfortable clothing. She ran the towel through her hair and didn't bother looking in the mirror. She knew she was a mess, she had let more tears fall in the shower.

Clarke's heart stopped when she saw Octavia waiting for her in the guest room. She was sitting there on the bed glaring at her as she brought a hand over her heart, "oh god. You scared me."

Her eyes were still red and puffy from the shower. While the warm water had soothed her bones, she knew nothing was going to soothe her hurting heart anytime soon. Not until she found a way to pick up the missing pieces and put her life back together. She really hoped the tears in the shower were the last ones that would fall. She didn't know how much more crying she could take.

"Okay here's where I stand," Octavia said ignoring the red eyes Clarke wore. She crossed her arms over her chest, "you broke my brother's heart when you left. But I always thought we were friends. Not best friends, but friends. So I won't be angry with you. I'll let go of the resentment I have towards you, because I can see you're hurting. But if you hurt him away I will follow you. I won't let you get away as easily this time."

Clarke nodded her head slowly, "I never meant to hurt him or you. I'm sorry," her voice broke, "I never meant for any of this to happen. I shouldn't have left in the first place. I shouldn't have let my mom bully me into a life I didn't want."

The tears weren't gone. Clarke started to fall apart all over again and any anger Octavia did have, disappeared. She wasn't hard and she couldn't hold onto a grudge like her brother. Between the two Octavia was a big softy, even if you could find that softness under Bellamy's hard exterior. Clarke was grateful for that as Octavia wrapped her arms around her. Even if she thought Bellamy was pushing her off on his sister, he had done the right thing. He would've made her feel worse.

He wouldn't have been able to comfort her this way.

"Hey it's okay. I'm sorry I just," she pulled away and looked at the blonde girl in her arms, "I can't pick up his pieces again, Clarke. You know how unbearable he is. He was so broken when you left. Everyone thought he was beyond repair."

Clarke struggled in a breath, "yeah well you all think I just left with my heart of stone and never looked back. It wasn't easy for me either. Bell was, is still important to me too. I didn't get a clean break either."

Octavia's eyes went wide, "he told me you cut it off."

Clarke sat down, running her fingers through her wet hair. She might as well clear the air between them now. At least then she wouldn't have to tell her what else was making her fall apart. It would be easier to relive the pain caused by him than what had happened a last month. She wasn't ready for that yet.