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I wanted a drink again. I wanted to forget today, the past few months, who I am now. I didn't want this, all of us standing around outside acting out scenes from a play none of us knew the lines to.

Somewhere inside me there's this happiness that we're all like this, that we're like this and there's us. But I just can't seem to be, happy. I'm not sure if it's my aching pain for another shot since I've been sober for so long or if it's my pure depression and anxiety taking over.

So I want a drink again. Hell I want more than just "a drink", I want so many it'd kill me. I can't be a part of their act anymore, it hurts so bad.

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