Brainwashed

Gladly normal

Well this is the first story I'm publishing on wattpad and actually really very very nervous about it. To be frank with, my story might contain lots of grammatical mistakes but please be kind enough to bear with me and ugh* if you have this feeling that my story could go a lot better, feel free to confront me. This chap may be a little bit elaborated as I want to give the audience a clear view about her life and misery because later on, I'm not going to be very distinct about it. HAPPY READING!!! <3

I laid in the bathtub leaning on my back, thoughts flown over the clouds, Imagining of a world, a world where one day I could be a willing participant in enjoying the bliss of happiness. When all of this chaos and hurdles are over, and one day, I would like to finally breathe, smile and Love for real. No more crying, no more hates. One day, I would like to love ME.

The miasma engulfed with an intense humidity turning my body all sticky and slimy provided that I was literally sweating, not out of cold but an unknown fear rapidly growing in momentum as time followed. My dry lips quivered, breathing in air like an asthmatic as I read the vivid movements of my chest pump in chorus along my heartbeat.

My eyes diverted to a corner where the closet hung. The attached mirror was partially shattered on the right as though some body had thrown something on it in blind rage. The closet was slightly open, giving an open view of the shelf stuffed with medicines....painkillers, sleep tablets, empty bottles snickered all around the area.

It was coming. Eerie silence filled the whole atmosphere and at a point that I could even hear the beating of my own heart violently beating in arpeggios. The water leaked from the sewer pipe dripping down on the bare floor while the light bulb dimmed and flickered in recitation with perfect harmony as my senses were provoked to slumber every now and then.

This wasn't happening again.

And you know there are moments when even the littlest noise seems to make a difference, at times it could even big impacts and leave you wandering to all the nonsensical  stuffs that happen in your life or drift you off the mystical land of wild dreams.

No water dripping on the floor, no flickers on the bulb. Just strange silence . The bulb had gone out and I wandered if my electricity had been cut out provided that I didn't pay my bills for months now.

I didn't get my salary although, the manager was a total dick last Friday commenting on how I lacked professionalism in my work and I needed to grow up, well, it's because it's literally very easy to point your finger at someone and judge .

But in reality, you know nothing about the person and you're just raising your biased view on her moral values and character but lemme tell him, his opinion wasn't paramount and nobody gave a shit about what he thought as well.

And if I wasn't gonna get my pay then, I'd-I'd call the US embassy or the human violation rights or even contact the president of the united states and create a scene whatsoever until I got my rightful pay. Like come on, I was probably gonna get evicted from my own apartment from the pending bills if this was gonna progress any further.

And once and for all, I'd be jobless, homeless and friendless all over again.

Knocking me from my thoughts, the bulb glowed again and to my assumption, may be karma was playing its part now.

I deserved it, even though its naive, I felt like I deserved it...after all the shit I've gone through....

But in that brief amount of darkness, something, something had changed but I couldn't interpret what. I hurled my eyes all over the scenery, the mirror, the old cabinet, the closet, painkillers, empty bottles, the dirty little sock at the corner. Literally everything was just the same but somewhere deep inside me knew, knew that the nightmare was beginning, that the hell would come all over again and bring with it so much pain, so much torture.