Odd Jobs for the Undead - A Zombie For Hire Story

Chapter 13

The Medical Examiner's office is in the heart of downtown San Francisco, a few blocks away from the ballpark in an unassuming, ten story white concrete building erected some time in the early 70's. There is no sign that says "dead bodies here" that gives away the fact that the mortal remains of San Francsico's citizens who die under suspicious circumstances come here to be taken apart, piece by piece, by the City's coroners. In fact, there isn't any sign at all. It's the kind of place that you have to know is there in order to find it.

Merl drove us across town in his yellow Turbo Beetle in silence. I wasn't sure if he was just too stoned to talk or if something was bothering him.

He pulled the car around to the side of the building and down a ramp marked "Official Vehicles Only." When we got to the bottom, he took a key card out of the visor, rolled down his window, and pressed it to the reader. The steel gate in front of us rolled up and out of the way.

"Independent contractor with the morgue too?" I asked.

"Something like that, man," he answered.

He parked the car in a stall marked "Reserved" and killed the engine.

I reached for the door handle but he stopped me before I could pull it.

"Look dude, I don't know what Weller wants with you. But if its trouble, I got your back."

I'm sure he was trying to be reassuring, but it had the exact opposite effect.

"Why would there be trouble?" I asked.

"Just know I got you covered, okay?" he said.

"I wasn't really worried about any of this at all until you started talking, Merl," I said. "What the hell's going on?"

"Forget I mentioned it, man. I'm sure it's nothing," he said, forcing a smile. He opened the driver side door and hefted himself out of his seat. "Come on. Let's see what the queen of the zombies has to say."

He led me through a series of identical hallways. The end of our journey was a pair of solid double doors with the words "County Coroner" stenciled in black above them. He pushed on the steel handicap button and they swung inward on silent mechanisms.

Weller, DeSpain and Stu were standing together in a waiting room. All three turned toward the door as we came in. Weller's eyes landed on me and I'd swear I heard her snort. DeSpain just shook his head and moved away from us, but Stu smiled in welcome. I guess I was winning over a few hearts and minds.

"Thanks for coming, Gordon," he said, stepping toward us. He was limping and a large bandage covered most of his forehead where he'd cracked his noggin in the graveyard.

Had to give him credit. I'm not sure I'd go back to work the next night after what he went through.

"Why did you want me to bring him here?" Merl demanded, addressing Weller.

"I didn't want Zed here. It was the Graver's idea," she said pointing to Stu dismissively.

Merl turned his attention to Stu.

"Well?"

"We've got a zombie in the carving room," Stu said. "I thought Gordon could help."

"Why don't you just go in and brain it?" I asked.

"That's usually what we'd do, but this one's different," he said.

"Like me?" I wouldn't wish my life on anyone else, but god it would be good to have some company for the misery.

Stu looked back over his shoulder at Weller and DeSpain, addressing them with his answer more than me. "No. Nothing like you, Gordon." He turned to face Merl and me again. "This one's got more going on in the smarts department than the average groaner, but he ain't normal, not like regular zombies. And nothing like when you woke up. For one thing he's a lot more violent than the ones we usually find. And it almost seems like he knows what he is."