Odd Jobs for the Undead - A Zombie For Hire Story

Prologue

My eyes blinked open to a featureless, blinding white light. It surrounded me. I stared into it, not thinking, unaware of any sense of touch, or sound, or even of self.

Eventually, I'm not sure how long it took, I had what must have been my very first thought.

"I'm lying on my back."

Seconds, maybe minutes later, I realized my face was covered by a sheet and the all encompassing light was the overhead lights diffusing through it.

"Where the hell am I?" I thought.

My chest ached dully. I moved my hand to rub at the sore spot. The joints of my fingers, wrist and elbow were stiff, making the simple motion an effort. My entire arm was numb and week and felt like I'd been sleeping on it. The tips of my fingers moved across my sternum, where the ache was worst, and felt thick, coarse stitches.

I tried to remember what had happened to me, but the only memory I could conjure was opening my eyes and the white light. That was when I realized I didn't even know who I was, let alone where I was.

One way to find out.

I grabbed on to the sheet covering me with both hands and pulled it down. The edge slid past my face revealing a low white tile ceiling and a bank of fluorescent lights. Off to my right I could hear the soft sounds of someone doing...Something. There was humming.

I tried to turn to look, but my neck was even more stiff than my arms had been. There was also a block cradling my neck that preventing me from moving my head.

Okay, I thought. I'll just sit up.

Easier thought than done.

My abdomen was as rigid as a slab of concrete. An eighty pound weight on my chest wouldn't have made it any harder to get upright. My arms were being reasonably obedient, so I planted my hands on the table on either side of stomach, elbows tucked in to the sides, and pushed.

"Unnnnnghhhh!" I groaned, rising slightly.

"Jesus Christ!" the unseen person off to my right yelled out in a startled voice. It was a woman.

I had just enough leverage to rotate my body over onto my side. Another push with my right arm and I was able to swing my legs off the table. The soles of my feet hit the floor with a slap. The sudden movement sent a wave of pins and needles up from my toes to my thighs.

I groaned again from the discomfort. Whatever had happened to me really hurt.

Details of the room I was in were slowly registering. The floor and walls were an antiseptic looking white, like the ceiling. Three large, industrial looking stainless steel sinks lined one wall. A device made of clear plastic cylinders filled with red fluid and hoses with pointed, vicious looking probes attached to them was a few feet away from the head of the table I'd been laying on.

The woman I'd heard was standing on the far side of another table like the one I'd woken up on. She was short, maybe five two or three, her hair was pulled up in two pigtails and her soft brown eyes were opened in wide surprise.

Under other circumstances she might have had a cute, girl next door quality.

Spread out on the table in front of her was an old woman. A really, really old woman. Ninety if she was a day. A white sheet like the one that had been covering me had been pulled back to reveal her head and shoulders. The younger woman I'd seen first had been applying a garish shade of red to the old lady's lips.

I lurched awkwardly away from the table on my stiff, numb legs. The sheet that had been covering me pulled away and slid to my feet. Looking down I saw I was naked as a new born baby. The woman across the room was slowly backing away from me, a look of horror on her face.