I glanced at Carmen again and saw that she was practically bawling. My own pain started again as I thought of the reasons for her tears and I removed my hand from her chin. After setting aside the food I pulled her into my arms and rocked from side to side. She sobbed into my chest and a few of my own silent tears fell onto her shoulder. We stayed this way for hours, just crying with each other, rocking gently or not moving at all. I would murmur a few soothing words in her ear every now and then, but they never helped. Her sobs only seemed to increase and that worried me, but she had to do this. She had to let it all out. Keeping her emotions bottled up would never help.
It surprised me when she started to stir and then reached up to grab my face, pulling it down to hers. Her lips met mine and they were so fervent, so desperate, that I didn't pull away. I kissed her back, trying to be gentle and call her, but her kisses were so passionate and needy that that was hard to do.
Carmen started to lean back, pulling me on top of her. I could still feel her tears against my cheeks, but she continued to kiss me deeply, letting her hands run down my chest, to the buttons on my shirt. I froze and pulled back, forcing her to break the kiss and her hold on me.
I can't believe she wanted this. She just lost her baby and now she wants to have sex with me. I couldn't do it. I didn't want that. I mean what if she got pregnant again? Wait.... what if that's why she's doing this. Maybe she wants to get pregnant again. No. I had to talk some sense in her. She doesn't want this. I'm not just going to have sex with her so that she could get pregnant again. It would have to mean something. She wasn't thinking straight right now either. She was distraught, in pain, and traumatized. It would practically be taking advantage of her.
She looked at me with hurt, teary eyes. "What is it?" she asked me, trying to reach my lips again.
"No, Carmen," I said firmly, holding her shoulders and looking her dead in the eye. I was serious. If I did this she would surely wake up in the morning and hate me forever for what I did. Once she was able to think straight she would probably blame it all on me and then want to leave me. And it would be my fault for letting it happen. So I wasn't going to do this.
"Why not?" Carmen asked in a wavering voice. My resolve wavered just as much as her voice upon seeing her face. I struggled to keep it in place.
"You're not thinking straight right now. We shouldn't do this. It would be wrong," I tried to reason, searching her face warily as it grew angrier and angrier with each word I uttered after that first sentence.
"I'm not thinking straight?! What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, outraged. Uh oh. I've offended her.
"Carmen, I didn't mean that.... I-I" I stuttered, trying to find words. "I just meant that you are hurt and broken. You need to take sometime to heal before you do anything major. What if you got pregnant again?" I asked her. My suspicious gaze quickly faded when I saw the honest shock on her face.
"Oh," she said and then relaxed back in the pillows. "I didn't think of that." Her face looked so defeated that I couldn't resist kissing her. She took advantage of that, snaking her tongue through my lips, before I pulled away.
Sighing, she leaned back again. "Austin, just because I'm in pain doesn't mean that I can't think straight. I know what I want. I want you. In every way. You have been here for me through all of this, helping me. You helped me get out of that house, turning against your own father, and you helped get me out of mine. I just wanted to show you how much I appreciate that," she said, her eyes searching my face. I looked back into them and saw so much pain and need that all of my defenses crumbled and I groaned, giving up.
She sensed my defeat and immediately pulled me to her, crushing her lips on mine. Her breathing was uneven, for once because of the passion and not the tears. I kissed her back just as passionately, exploring her mouth with my tongue and letting my hands slide under her shirt. As our kisses grew more and more urgent I took her shirt off, throwing it to the side. She smiled in the kiss, realizing that she was going to get what she wanted, and moved her hands back to my shirt.
I Bought A Vampire At An Auction Chapter Ten *MA*
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