Waters of Lethe, Book 2

67. Lights Out

After an odd few days of laying around in the same bed, in the same room, surrounded by the same beeping machines that indicated I was getting better no matter how crummy I felt, I was finally cleared to leave. Jai, thankfully, didn't push it when the nurse asked him to leave so that she could get me ready to go, and I was more than happy for them to take the IVs out of the various places on my hands and arms. Everyone was amazed at how quickly I was getting my strength back, even though I knew that my strength now didn't hold a candle to how strong I was before. Doctors were eager to let me go, though I couldn't tell if it were really because they thought I was getting better or if the keep-this-girl-low-key agreement that Audi had them sign during my treatment had creeped them out. If I had to guess, I'd guess it was the latter.

"How'd that phone call with your parents go?" Audi asked me as he walked into the room. Jai sat by my bed, as usual, not even bothering to look up as Audi entered. I knew Jai was tired. I could tell by the way he acted, by the way the dark circles under his eyes were so prominent. I knew the second we boarded whatever plane we were to get on to go back to the states that he would crash, and I would let him.

I answered as Audi chunked a bag of clothes on the bed for me. One of Jai's black t-shirts, running shorts, and a sports bra and underwear. I ignored the burning on my cheeks, ignored the thought of Audi searching through my things. "Went well, I guess. Considering I had to make up something to cover the last few months ."

Audi raised his eyebrows, but I didn't want to talk about it. My parents weren't stupid, and I wasn't a great liar. "Thanks for bringing all of this."

"No problem. They called for wheelchair transport, so get to dressing." 

At this, Jai piped up. "They won't let her walk out?"

"No," I replied, digging through the bag. It was protocol for a lot of hospitals to minimize any chance of hospital acquired injury, which meant rolling patients around until final discharges are made. After they roll you out the front doors and kick you out of the wheelchair, you aren't their problem anymore. Legally.

After Audi walked out, Jai sat quietly in his chair that, I was almost one hundred percent sure, had his butt permanently imprinted on it. I knew that he was waiting for me to tell him to leave. I knew he wouldn't leave unless I asked him to. Even then, I wasn't sure he would leave. I sighed. "Close the curtain," I told him, and he did wordlessly. The rest of the ICU was cut off from us, and, for the first time in a long time, it felt like we were alone. "You might have to help me," I admitted. "But only when I tell you I need help. Until then, turn around."

He smiled sheepishly, which drew out a smile from me, then slowly turned around. I sat Indian style on the bed, then tugged my gown down so that it covered my waist and so that I could put on my bra. Unfortunately, everything was still sore. Though I was stronger, probably the same as a normal girl my age, it wasn't me. And it was weird.

I grunted, which made Jai flinch as if I yelled out in pain. He tried his hardest not to turn. "Help," I whispered. Thankfully, I'd gotten the bra over my front, but the back was bunched up around my shoulders. He gingerly pulled my hair free from being trapped between the bra and my back and helped tug the rest down, then turned back around when I voiced my thanks. He mumbled a "Welcome."

Next came the underwear, which I got on quickly, along with my shorts. "Okay, you're good," I told Jai as I reached for my shirt. His shirt. Whatever. Although I was still shy, I was getting better about trusting Jai and what he saw. It was an oddly comforting feeling, as comforting as his scent that lingered on the shirt I pulled over my head. 

I took a few sore steps around the bed to him and pulled him to me, happy to have him near. "I'm never leaving you again," I mumbled.

He delicately wrapped his arms around me. "Good."

********************

As predicted, Jai fell asleep as soon as we got on the plane. He didn't even have time to take his shoes off. When he hit the bed belly first, it was lights out for him. I assumed Audi did the same, because he retreated to his room without a word. I wasn't sure about Ryan. 

I found it in me to giggle as I pulled Jai's tennis shoes off and roused him enough to get him under the covers and his head on a pillow. I lay on the top of the covers, long enough for him to drift off, then silently got up and walked into the living area of the private plane.

Ryan sat at a table in the kitchen, his back to me. He jumped as I walked up behind him quietly and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I slid into the seat across from him. In front of him sat a cup of coffee.

"It's cool," he said with a smile. "Out of all the people on this plane, you're the only one I want sneaking up on me. I don't trust Jai or Audi."

I return his smile, not sure of what to say. "How are you?"

"Really? You're wondering how I am?" he laughs. I laugh too, smiling, though my ribs are still aching a bit. "I'm alright. Can't complain. How are you?"

I fold my arms across the table separating us. "Can't lie, I've been better."

Silence sits heavy between us for a few seconds until Ryan decides to speak again. 

"It's been hell without you for the last few months."

Months. That's right. I've been gone for months. I stare at the table in front of me, right in front of Ryan's coffee, unable to look away. I swallow hard. Enzo. Alex. Deebo. Ming. Piper. The people I've been with for months are no longer with me. No, that's not right. I'm no longer with them. They're with Scott. The man who tricked us. The man who injured us, not only physically but mentally. He tinkered with our heads on several occasions. He shot us, tranquilized us, hurt us. He hurt Jai.

I begin to breathe rapidly. My eyes switch to tunnel vision, the outside of my focus turning black. I wonder if Enzo and the rest are safe, if they're still in Toronto. Surely Audi would have sent a team a few days ago to report back. Surely he would have told me if they found anyone. And because they didn't, I have no choice but to believe they are gone.

I feel a hand on my forearm and harshly swat it away, leaning back in the process. Before I know it, I'm in a position that allows me to stand up and fight at a moments notice. Fists clenched, feet planted firmly on the floor. Ryan's soft, scared eyes look back at me in confusion. He doesn't look scared, only concerned.

"You need sleep," he whispers, like if he talks louder he might send me over the edge. Like he's talking to a crazy person.

Slowly, I relax. Slowly, I nod. Slowly, I get up and begin towards the room Jai is sleeping comfortably in. "Sorry," I say breathlessly as I walk past Ryan, my legs numb.

"Hey." He turns in his seat and reaches out a hand as if to grab my wrist but thinks twice about it and stops himself. "You don't have to be sorry about anything. I want you to get well. We all want you to get well."

I nod at him, turn, and keep walking until I'm back in the bedroom with the door shut behind me. I lean against it for a moment before crawling in bed beside Jai.