Waters of Lethe, Book 2

34. Knowing By Heart

"Drop the weapon, El."

I began to panic. Breathing hard, I stared at him, the gun steady in my hands.

"You wanted me. You got me. But whatever you wanted me for, it's going to have to be without that," the Asian guy said, nodding at the gun.

I thought about it, then lowered the gun. Something drained out of me as the gun lowered, and I ended up tossing it to the side. It clattered against a table.

Smooth move, I thought to myself afterwards. I might need it shortly.

He was right, though. I was the one that requested him. He didn't have to come, yet he did.

"El?" he asked, his voice raising. "What's my name?"

I swallowed. The ferocity that defined every inch of my being five minutes ago was now replaced with fear. I was afraid of this guy, of what he was. We were the same, but he was stronger than me. I knew he didn't intend on hurting me, but I still felt a hard pang in my chest, right on top of my heart.

"What's my name?" he asked again, slowly walking into the cafe. He lowered his hands, held one out to me.

I backed up, farther into the dark cafe, searching behind the guy as he pushed on. Hurt crossed his face, but only for a moment. I glanced over his shoulder for Deebo or Ming to pass by, hoping their drunk asses would see me and help. Who was I kidding? They were no match for this guy. Not even if they double teamed him.

Think, I commanded myself.

I looked him up and down as he stepped over the first body laying on the floor. Compared to him, I was overdressed. His dark jeans and black t-shirt were simple compared to my short dress.

He came to my shoes, almost stepping over them, too, before he stopped himself. He looked down at them, then looked up at me while he bent down to pick them up to examine them.

"I didn't really think these were your style," he commented, almost to himself as he gently set my shoes back on the floor. Right by the dead guy's feet.

"Oh?" I asked, my voice shaky. "What is my style, then?"

He smiled, his eyes kind. "Plain. Yet beautiful. A t-shirt. A pair of running shorts. Socks. You can't live without socks," he laughed, as if recalling an old memory.

My mouth parted.

"Say my name, El."

He came closer. I stood still, letting him. "I can't-"

"Why not?" his voice shook, too, but it was from despair.

"I don't know it!" I yelled at him, taking a step in his direction. We were a foot away now. "I've seen your face in my head for the past month, and I can't put a name with you. Do you know how frustrating that is?"

He grinned sadly. "Almost as frustrating as being without the person you love for a month straight? Not knowing if they're okay, or safe, even? Seeing their face in your head every second of every day, even in your dreams? Yes, I know what that's like."

Almost as frustrating as being without the person you love for a month straight?

"Me?" I stared at him in disbelief. Yet the disbelief was easing, lifting off of me. Images of lonely, tense flights from Louisiana to Maine flashed through my head. Memories of hiking and camping out in the cold. A video reel spun in my head, reminding me that I'd seen this guy's darkest secrets, the new problems he'd created by trying to escape old ones. And then when I came to him, they disappeared.

Warmth spread through me as he grabbed my shoulders and pressed his mouth against mine.

The touch I'd needed, the closeness and warmth I'd needed for the last month surged in me like a wildfire, igniting the ends of my fingers and bare toes.

He sat in my room one night, eating cake that I'd brought him, while I told him of a dream I'd had. I cuddled against his chest, wrapped in his arms, only a few nights before I idiotically jumped on a helicopter after a kid who I still wanted to save.

I kissed Jai back.

I felt him as he carried my injured body from the wreckage that Mateo and his crew had caused on the first night Audi and Jai reached me. I felt him, now, as he held me as tightly as I held him.

"What's my name?" he asked against my lips.

I smiled.

"Jai."