Safe Word

Chapter 1- Normal Day

I walked over to my side of the house and took of my shoes by the door. Walking through the bland lonely hallways, no pictures of family nothing to make me smile.

I walked up the stairs and went into my bedroom. I flopped on the bed and I looked at my wrist. I  saw all the tiny little marks I left myself with and sighed. I did this to myself, I made myself even more ugly than I already am. I felt the urge to cut again, I made Jackson's mood drop I need to be punished. I walked to my bathroom and grabbed one of my razor blades from the drawer. I took a deep breathe and cut my skin where there weren't any scars yet. I saw little blood drops start to form as I washed the blade and stashed it away, walking out of the bathroom.

"Ugly and worthless" I said to myself. I turned and jumped when I saw Luke leaning on the door frowning at me. Again, what's new.

"Uh hi" I said quietly and he nodded at me, bringing his usual smirk back.

"Jackson asked me to ask you if you wanted to go out with us tonight?" He finished with a smile but frowned again when I sighed.

"Do I have too" I questioned and he shook his head.

"You don't have to do anything you aren't comfortable with bud" he smiled. I nodded at him and thought for a minute. Why can't I go out with them, I'm living with them. If I go out maybe Prince Charming will sweep me off of me feet.

Oh who am I kidding, guys don't do that.

"Where are you guys going tonight?" I asked.

"We are going to the club" he smiled at me again.

Oh the club. I better not go, Prince Charming won't be there. "No I'm fine, but thank you for the invite" I said trying to get him to leave, but he didn't. I saw him eyeing my wrist that probably was a little red right now. If he tells Jackson I'm dead.

"You also need to eat dinner bud, we aren't leaving until you eat" he said to me. I know I need to eat, I want to be healthy. But I get sick a lot when I eat... having bulemia isn't exactly the best illness in the world.

"Ok fine let's go" I said sighing and he smiled at me. At least I made him smile for once.

"We'll leave after you eat" he repeated himself. I just nodded at him as we walked.

Luke and I made our way downstairs and into the main part of the house. I could smell dinner and I walked into the kitchen watching Jackson dance around while Luke sat down at the table. I walked up and took my plate and Luke's plate to the table. I picked up a peice of chicken and slowly put it in my mouth. I chewed and swallowed immedietly regretting it. I felt bloated already.

I can feel my stomach protesting already. I'm going to be seeing this dinner real soon.

I sighed and finished the chicken with a uneasy feeling in my stomach. I know Luke and Jackson know I'm gonna be sick later because that was a lot of food for me, but they look calm.

Once I finally finished my meal I looked up at Luke, who smiled at me nodding in approval. "Ok ready" Luke said clapping his hands and Jackson nodded. Getting out of the house will be good for them.

"Wait before we go, Ty we need to tell you something" Jackson said and I looked at him.

"If you need anything call the club and ask for Luke or I." He said and I nodded. Of course I knew to ask for them I'm not a kid. But why would I need them? It's not like I'm gonna die within the 5-6 hours they'll be gone.