Im going to rewrite the whole book. So here is the new chapter 1. Above is Tyler
"The words that run through my head every single day of my life." I explain to the man sitting across from me. He frowned at me and wrote down in my file.
"Well Tyler. Are you still taking your meds?" Mr. Dobair asked me and I nodded at him, not daring to look at him.
I heard him continue writing down, but when was he not doing that. Always judging me, I don't think he's here to help me he's just taking our money and sending me off with a array of different medications.
"Ok Tyler that's all for today. Please try to get some rest and take your medication. I'll see you next week" he finished standing up and I slowly got up from my seat, starring at the floor.
"Bye Mr. Dobair" I mumbled softly and I walked out the door, walking into the lobby full of people that all looked up at me when I walked out. I was starring at the ground instantly and avoided bumping into people.
I made my way outside and saw My brother Jacksons car waiting at the corner. I slowly walked over to the side door and opened it, sliding into the passenger seat slowly.
"Hey bud" he said happily and I sadly smile at him. He knows about everything. He knows about my cutting. He knows about my depression, social anxiety and belemia. I'm the odd one out in the family. They all are major Buisness stars or even just fun to be around. Then there's me.
" how did it go today?" He asked pulling into the busy Los Angeles city traffic. I looked at him slowly and he smiled at me hopefully. His brown eyes glimmering in the sun.
"It was fine. I think he wants to make my medication stronger" I said and he frowned looking at the road. Oh great look at me making everyone sad.
"Doesn't that mean it's getting worse" he asked quietly and I looked down at my lap, fumbling with my hands. He sounded disappointed in me. Why do I always do that I always ruin everything, I make everyone sad and everyone mad. I'm just a screw up.
"yeah" I said quietly and sighed a little. I felt his eyes on me but I stayed quiet keeping my eyes down on my lap.
A few moments passed until Jackson spoke again.
"Ty we're here" Jackson said sadly looking at me and I looked up from my lap. I saw that we were home.
"Ok" I mumbled slowly getting out and walking slowly behind Jackson. We walked inside the house and immediately Luke, Jackson's husband came up and hugged him.
I live with Luke and Jackson. Luke is a big CEO and when me and Jackson both came out as gay, our parents kicked us both out. So when Luke met Jackson, he dragged us both here. The house is big and It has a guest house, which is where I stay. I'm surprised Jackson even let's me be alone.
I walked over to my side of the house and took of my shoes by the door. Walking through the bland lonely hallways, no pictures of family nothing to make me smile.
I walked up the stairs and went into my bedroom. I flopped on the bed and I looked at my wrist. I saw all the tiny little marks I left myself with and sighed. I did this to myself, I made myself even more ugly than I already am
"Ugly and worthless" I said to myself and slowly got up. I turned around and jumped when I saw Luke leaning on the door frowning.
"Uh hi" I said quietly and he nodded at me.