Taking Chances (Remember to Forget Sequel)

Chapter 15

"We'll be fine, trust me," I whisper. "I'll come back. We can talk whenever. I don't care if you call me at two in the morning, I'll still be there."

She lifts her head up, and I wipe the tears off her cheeks. 

"I'm a mess," she says.

"It happens. Look at me, I had breakdowns, like, every week."

She smiles and leans her forehead against mine.

"I already miss you," she whispers.

I laugh quietly. "I haven't even left yet. You still have four days to deal with me."

I kiss her nose gently and neither of us say anything for a little. We both just sit beside each other, holding hands as I play with her fingers.

"This is why I'm sad," Delilah finally says. "We won't be able to do this. We'll be able to call and text and video chat, but you won't be here. It's not the same. We won't be able to hold hands or go on walks together or kiss or just do this."

"I know, but it's not permanent. Now, when we see each other after I leave, it'll be even more special."

"I guess," she says quietly.

"I know."

Delilah smiles and lies down on her bed. She props herself up on her elbow, and I lie beside her.

"So about your mom... What did your dad say?" Delilah asks. 

I explain to her everything that my dad told me. She nods a few times, but stays silent as I talk. She seems to be taking it in and thinking about it all. She looks serious and sad. Her eyes are puffy and her mascara has run a little. Both of us are a wreck. 

"From what it sounds like, everything should work out," Delilah says when I'm done. "You just need to find the positives in this whole situation, I guess. Not focus on the negatives."

"I guess so. I'll try."

"So one positive is that you'll be in Australia again," she whispers.

I shrug. "I'd rather be here."

"I'm trying to help."

"Well, I'm not gonna lie."

"What if you meet an amazing Australian girl?" she asks.

"Being Australian isn't anything special for me," I tell her, "American is."

She smiles and rests her head on her pillow. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I watch her chest rise and fall as she breathes, seeming more relaxed than she was before. She reaches over and twirls her fingers through my hair.

"It's gonna be weird not being able to walk down the street to your house whenever I wanna see you," I tell her.

"I'll be a call away."

Delilah is trying not to be sad around me now, I can tell. But her eyes aren't as bright and full of energy like they usually are. Her voice isn't as excited, and she's talking quietly. I know once I leave she's going to start crying again, I can see the tears forming in her eyes. She blinks continuously to stop the tears from falling.

"Del, it's okay if you need to cry. I would be crying too, but I'm too cried out," I tell her, pulling her closer to me.

As soon as I say that, Delilah starts crying again instantly. I can feel her heart start racing. She's taking short, quick breaths. I didn't think it would upset her this much. I didn't realize I meant this much to her. In a perfect world, I wouldn't have to leave her, and she wouldn't be sobbing right now. But the world isn't perfect.

We stay like that for almost an hour, with Delilah in and out of crying. Just when I think she's calmed down, she starts right back up again. It's like all the strings inside her broke and she can't control herself anymore. I've never seen her this upset about anything. Neither of us say anything, we just hold onto each other. There's nothing either of us can say to each other to make any of this better, no matter how hard we try. This is something that we have to deal with, and we can't change anything.

"I hate this. This sucks," Delilah whispers, being the first one to finally say something again.

"I know. But even though I'm leaving, I won't be gone."

GUYSSSS I SAW 5SOS THE PAST 2 FRIDAYS. YESTERDAY I HAD THIRD ROW AND THEY SAW MY SIGN THAT HAD MY MOMS ASHTON SELFIE THAT SAID "YOU MET MY MOM WITHOUT ME" AND MICHAEL ALMOST PICKED ME FOR REJECTS. I WAS ON THE BIG SCREEN. LUKE SAID IT WAS MESSED UP AND MICHAEL LAUGHED SO LOUD. I WAS PANICKING. ALSO I MET A BUNCH OF YOU GUYS, YOU'RE ALL SO CUTE AND NICE. I'LL BE AT ROWYSO CT ON SATURDAY IF ANY OF YOU WILL BE THERE! :) 

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN 2 WEEKS I WAS IN NY AND NOW SCHOOL IS STARTING IN 2 DAYS. I LOVE YOU AND HOPE YOU LIKED THIS.

TWEET ME AT SINGSONGASH WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN WITH LULILAH :)

also the winner of the hashtag contest is coolcatrice with #NotSpokenButHeard so use that hashtag on twitter whenever you talk about rtf/taking chances :) i'll occasionally stalk the hashtag and maybe follow some of you ;)

-ashley