*trigger warning
Hyemi lay in bed, sick, wrists slit and bleeding profusely. She was running a fever but honestly, she didn't care. Why should she? Who cares for her anyway? She was sick and tired of everything, and mostly, fighting with Hongbin. Yes, that was the nth time the two fought in a month and it was getting on the nerves of the other members. Hongbin was also sick of this, sick of trying so hard to make her feel loved and yet, constantly struggling to do so. In other words, Hongbin was done putting in effort for Hyemi. Even though she put in her best effort too, Hongbin thought it wasn't enough at all.
"You're not even trying!" He yelled in frustration, running a hand through his hair and sighing. Hyemi was upset and angered. "Which part of me hasn't been trying?" She asked. "Every!" He retaliated, and she flinched. "I have." She spoke quietly and softly. "Don't defend yourself. You've shown me how clearly in this relationship, only one side is putting in the effort."
Hyemi couldn't fight back, her depression was coming back the more Hongbin hurled hurtful words at her. "I'm done. We're breaking up." He spoke gruffly, grabbing his bag and leaving the shared apartment. Hyemi continued to sit there in silence, her eyes void of all emotions, becoming dull. Hyemi's mind could barely even register a single thing that was happening and before she knew it, she was in the bathroom with a knife in hand.
Don't do this. Are you sure you want to do this, because that isn't the right thing. You know Hongbin doesn't want you to cut. Remember the last time you cut? He cried so hard when he saw your wounds. So you really want to do this, Hyemi?
Last time was last time. Hongbin doesn't love you anymore, and he's not convinced that you love him even though you're trying your very best to love him back. You don't express yourself very much but through cutting, and Hongbin couldn't change that. He's done with you. Accept that fact that he doesn't love you anymore, Hyemi.
Hyemi sang softly as she slit her wrists, feeling the slight dash of pain coursing through her veins as it replaced the mental pain. It was a habit of hers to sing as she cut, because she liked it. The blood trickled down her wrists and dripped onto her legs and the floor, as a tiny smile crept its way to her lips, curving up slightly. Hyemi found cutting to be a form of relief; a relief from the mental pain she was suffering from, every time she and Hongbin fought. This time was the worst; Hongbin broke up with Hyemi and he left her. Hyemi was utterly broken.
She had been building up her walls that had collapsed when she first started to suffer from depression. Hongbin helped her; they built the wall and strengthened it together, but Hongbin's power was strong enough to send the whole wall crashing down into bits and pieces. Hyemi couldn't stop the feeling of wanting to kill herself. More than anything and anyone, she needed Hongbin. However, she couldn't comprehend her feelings at the moment. She felt so lost and it was a mixture of different emotions that no one could understand how she felt.
Hyemi continued to make fresh wounds appear, slowly as blood oozed out of her arms. Vivid memories of her dates with Hongbin flashed in her mind and tears managed to creep their way to her eyes, but it faded away quickly and she blinked. Her phone was ringing in the bedroom but Hyemi merely ignored the ringing phone and continued to harm herself further, scarring her skin, trying to make herself feel better.
"Oh god no, pick up, pick up!" Sanghyuk yelled as he panicked, willing Hyemi to pick up. "Shit, we're stuck here in the traffic jam, how are we supposed to go and see her?!" Wonshik cursed, biting his lips and ruffling bid hair in frustration. "Hopefully Hyemi doesn't do anything silly, she hasn't recovered from depression!" "Aish, Lee Hongbin's asking for a damned death wish!" Hakyeon groaned as Sanghyuk tried to call Hyemi over and over again. "We run there. If you really want to reach there quickly, we run. We're 2 stations away from where she is." Taekwoon spoke up and all of them looked at him.
